IC CONTACT POST

[uberboned]

[A woman's voice comes over the line.]

You've reached the Trickster's voicemail. Unfortunately, Mr. Trickster isn't available to take your call, nor will he likely ever be. Should you still wish to leave a message, please respond after the tone, and maybe we'll remember to get it to him, mmkay?

[Beep]

[[OOC: This is an IC voicemail post for all verses games. Please put the name of the verse/game you want in the subject heading.]]

Comments

text (sent december 26)

[thelightbringer]

amj;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

You have to use your fingers.

[call] Siren's Port

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Riiiiing. Riiiing. RIIIING.]

Come on. Pick up the phone, Mr. Trickster. Come on, baby. I know you don't sleep.

[Yes, she's talking while the phone is ringing. And this phone call totally is coming at like five in the morning, but she knows your ass doesn't sleep.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Stupid... Douchey blackberry. WHY DOES THIS THING HAVE SO MANY BUTTOSN... Oh that's how you answer it.]

Isn't it a little early in the morning for a booty call?

[Video/Siren's Pull]

[rhythminmysoul.livejournal.com]

[A happy little orange tabby comes on screen takes off his hat before he speaks.]

Um, excuse me, Mr. Trickster. I saw in the paper you are opening a new club and are looking for performers. My name is Danny and I am a singer and dancer. I was wondering where you would be holding auditions. I would love to try and audition for one of the performer spots.

[Video/Siren's Pull]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Stare.

More staring.

Staring some more.

Oh my God, the furry invasion has begun.]

Sure. [Slow nod.] I book performances by the month. You get by the judges, you perform this time around. The audience likes you? We start booking you whenever we want. [You'd think he... Actually ran a club before.]

awkward straight-to-voicemail go | siren's port

[socius]

Hey, Gabriel. It's Anna. Um. I was talking to Jinx, and she said.. I should just call you about maybe getting a job in .. Purgatory? I mean, I've worked in restaraunts before, sleezy ones, clean ones-- I just.

I kind of need a job. I'll even just clean up after hours or- anything, really.

Anyway- Yeah. Um, I guess you know where to reach me, so; Thanks.

IMMEDIATE CALL BACK

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....Please tell me she didn't ask you how you feel about fishnets.

call; Siren's Port

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[This call's coming to you at about 2:30 in the morning. Jinx sounds tired and mildly disgruntled.]

What're you wearing?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

A velvet smoking jacket and nothing else. [Not really.] Now do it again, only sexier.

[A beat]

Something goin' on?

voicemail;

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Well, Mr. Trickster. I was reading the news today and I noticed something of interest. School's out, it's some big Canadian holiday, and the fairgrounds are going to be packed with people in need of a little...just desserts? My fingertips are itching for a little fun with my personal pagan god.

How about I buy the tickets, you buy the snacks, I'll rig up a few dozen carnival games, then maybe the Ferris wheel could break down while we're at the top and... [A little purr.]

Call me before I get tired of planning everything and leave you for someone dull and shallow. ...love you.

voicemail;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel doesn't even bother with the pleasantries when he calls back.] I gotta hand it to you, babe. You sure know how to pick a date. You're getting a real dinner next week. I'll even tip.

Voicemail | Siren's Port

[jazzmurderess.livejournal.com]

Hiya, this is a message for a Gabriel? I found this number, and word is you're looking for talent. You found it. The name's Roxie Hart and I'd like to audition for a spot in your club's lineup. Call me back when you get this, pretty please.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[There's dead silence when Gabriel calls back.]

I think there was some static in your voicemail, princess. Did you say Roxie Hart?

[1/5]

[barebacking.livejournal.com]

Lord Gabriel.

[barebacking.livejournal.com]

I really need to ask something, but is it something that you will say that is none of my business?

[video]

[paterelohim]

[Hey look it's Chuck and Anna, red faced and leaning all on each other in a drunk kitten kind of way. Anna's face is streaked with tears and Chuck looks marginally better- but they're both clearly trashed and leaning in cloooooooooooooooooooooooose to the screen to focus their wobbly heads on the NV.]

Gabriel. Hey- hey Gabriel.

[video]

[gotbackupagain.livejournal.com]

[Tear streaked and blotchy. Anna's voice is thick with left over emotions, but clearly determined.]

No! I wanna talk to him, move- Gimme the. Chuck give it--!

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[This call comes at about midnight. Before she speaks, there's a lot of fumbling. Her heels on the ground, liquid swishing around in a bottle, her hand brushing against the speaker. Her voice is a bit slurred.]

I--I don' know where I am. My bike is...it's somewhere. Prob'ly the same place with my jacket. It's dark. But there's a lot'a grass.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

...Gimme three seconds.

[...It's probably really creepy that it takes exactly that long for Gabriel to key into where she is.]

Quick. Put the bottle down before you start telling the police that they call you Tater Salad. [Deadpan snark aside, he looks worried as fuck.]

If you're Purgatory staff, Press One....

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Faith Lehane | Bouncer

[watcherless.livejournal.com]

/presses 1.

Faith works Thursday through Monday, 4 PM to 12 AM. This way she covers the last of the people who come in before the sirens, but can still get out in time to ... get her ass beat by Darkness monsters.

She dresses in the waitress-y fishnets, but tends to break people's hands when they get grabby or harass her, and no amount of heel will keep her from kicking ass. No, really. Girl has super strength, super durability and other fun super things. She's the best bouncer ever, and the kind that will chat people up and be fun as long as they're not assholes.

/blurb. /am i doin' it right.

voice~

[paterelohim]

[The call comes a couple hours after Phoenix Wright's post.]

Hey, uh, Gabriel. Don't mean to bother you or anything, I just wanted to ask you something. It's, y'know, no real big deal, but call me back? Thanks.

voice~

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Hiding in the bushes at Los Noches right now? WHY YES HE IS.]

Oh, this oughta be good.

voice;

[paterelohim]

[Have a panicked drunk voice, Gabriel, with the distant sounds of puking.]

Gabriel. GABRIEL. Okay so uhm don't get mad okay? Don't eat me. Before you get pissed just know that I didn't know she was a lightweight and she hasn't had that much to drink so I don't know why she's throwing up this much and I thought I could take care of her but it's kind of, um, kind of really starting to scare me because she wasn't drunk enough to get sick. She really wasn't.

It's really weird, and- Jinx! JINX. Jinx, leave the ponytail in, okay? Your hair! -and it's freaking me out. I've seen drunk enough to puke, uh, I've seen it a lot. And this wasn't it.

voice;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[There's a long, terrifying pause.]

Do you just have a bucket list of women I know you plan on ruining?

video;

[quackery.livejournal.com]

[Sup. Looking and sounding a little uncertain, but-]

Hey, um, Gabriel?

video;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....What happened?

[IMMEDIATELY JUMPS TO A PROBABLY ACCURATE CONCLUSION.]

text;

[paterelohim]

[Yes, he's texting during his shift. Deal with it.]

So... who was that Elaine chick?

text;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Wish I could tell you. She's uncomfortably powerful, that's for sure.

[Yeah, he doesn't wanna talk about how she OBVIOUSLY REEKS OF GOD. Like Lion-Jesus.]

text; backdated to this morningggg

[quackery.livejournal.com]

so how much did you tell everybody?

[In short: ALL HER RAGE. Except he's an angel so she would feel horrible if she was really angry. Denying feelings is awesome! Her life.]

Text;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[NO GUILT WHATSOEVER.]

Exactly what you told me. Which wasn't much, honestly.

[Call]

[mademyhell.livejournal.com]

[Consider this an IMMEDIATE reaction to Jinx's post.]

Do we have to talk about how dead I think you are or is that just inferred.

[Call]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Two words. They rhyme with duck and clue. Ten seconds.

Call

[magnetic_magpie]

[After he gets Jinx calmed down, feed, dressed, and tucked into bed. Not that Magneto is calm. The static pops of leaking power crackling sounds in the background but otherwise his voice is entirely level, even, low, icy, with very careful annunciation making each word.]

This isn't going to be the 'What did you do to my daughter' call. It's a little late for that.

You made her cry. You've risked her life. I've killed for far less. You're only getting a call due to the fact that she loves you. I want to know what this is, what it can do to her, and I want answers now. Everything else can wait until I know she's going to be all right.

Call

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Okay. First of all? I'm in the middle of trying to stab a cat in the face, so can you keep the sanctomonious bullshit to a minimum? I know what I did, I feel like shit about it. I will deal with it when she's cooled down enough that she won't throw a tire iron at my head, which is somewhere between now and six hours from now, because I can't stand this. I need her right now and, like it or not, Daddy 2.0? She needs me. I'm the only person who can help her right now. It's my problem. And unlike the statistics about kids with deadbeat dads becoming deadbeat dads, I look out for my family.

So go clean your shotgun and blow me.

[There's a pause] And for the record? I didn't risk her life. We made a choice. It didn't pan out. So don't friggin' villainize me. I'd never put her in harm's way if I could help it.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm calling to talk to that son-of-a-bitch who made me fat.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

You're not fat. You're pregnant. People actually forgive pregnant women.

[Voicemail]

[thelittlestbub.livejournal.com]

So, I heard this nasty little rumor and since everyone else in the house wants to kinda eat your face? I thought I'd pop in and say I don't, there's a bakery in sector five that I've never eaten at, and I'm still prowling for Trailer Park Barbie.

Hit me back, dude.

Call

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Good to know someone's keeping me off the menu at your place. And I'm sure she's even more elusive than Experimental Phase Barbie, complete with buzzcut.

text;

[quackery.livejournal.com]

[SHE STILL DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. But this is necessary.]

i need it cleansed

text;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Does the darkness in your Faberge soul affect your ability to talk?

voice;

[paterelohim]

Gabriiiiieeeeeeeeeeeel. We're on a bridge, Gaaaaaabriiiieeeeeeel~!

[Painkillers plus a margarita. Enjoy this.]

voice;

[checkoutpandora.livejournal.com]

[GROOOAN] I'm gonna put helium in your morphine.

call; I'LL STOP EDITING THIS EVENTUALLY

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Gabriel.

[She sounds serious. Dead serious. No one is more serious than Jinx is right now.]

The news (http://sirenspull.livejournal.com/1290975.html) today. I need you to read it. Now.

call; I SAW NOTHING.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Scrolling, scrolling...]

I think we're too mainstream for an amateur porn competition.

Call; after certain big mouth told that to Crowley

[athermercy]

Gabriel!

Call;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

...Whatever it is, I didn't do it.

[deathknellgrell.livejournal.com]

[ How in the name of DEATH ☆ did this invitation end up here? Grell really needs to pay attention! ]

Call;

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I think you sent an invitation to the wrong abandoned warehouse.