uberboned: (You can almost hear the Phil Collins)
Storytime, Barge!

Once there was an archangel who, after suffering from death-by-fire and holed up in a room for two days straight, received a request for some R&R time with one of his favorite people. Considering he's about to go insane laying in bed all day, he drops by to visit said person and lo and behold! That person's not there anymore. Hm, says the archangel. That's really weird. So he pops back into the room of the girl he's staying with, while his room smells like Kentucky Fried Archangel to tell her how weird it is that JD invites a guy to come get him and then just vanishes and... There's no Max. There's Max's stuff, but no Max.

So the archangel, confused but not deterred, popped by his next door neighbor's room to see what he thinks of this weird turn of events.

Also gone.

Moral of the story: Iiiif you're someone I like well enough to call a friend, could you, I dunno... Make like the Mickey Mouse Club and do a sound-off, 'cause this? This is getting a little too uncomfortable for my liking. I mean, this is the kind of thing I would do to mess with someone and I don't like being messed with. Okay?

[[OOC: So I'm sick as a dog today, so tags might be slow-to-nonexistent today, but I needed to get this up before it was too late, because it would have been OOC for Gabe not to react to this. At any rate, Gabe's not acting nearly as panicky as you'd expect him to act, because repressing emotions are healthy, but he's totally freaking out on the inside. Also, GDI. Gabe has a lot of CR with Nicci's characters. XD;;]]
uberboned: (NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.)
Okay!

On a list of things I never want to do again, that is way, way, way up there. On the plus side, I can actually move without feeling like I'm gonna black out any second over here, so, in case you were  worried, the archangel will pull through. Thank you all for your concern.

On that note, if you guys find the son of a bitch that caused this? I've got five things I'd like to say to him and then five more things to say to him in response to whatever he says after that. And then I'm probably gonna put him through a wall. Okay? Okay. Just so we're all clear on that.

[[OOC: So Gabe's still in the infirmary, despite having almost recovered from his Death Toll, because he won't leave until Max is better. You can assume he's been sitting in a chair beside her cot this entire time, refusing to move and probably either giving people wary looks or sleeping. People still stuck in the infirmary/infirmary staff/whatever can feel free to spam off this post if they'd like. I dun care. XD]]

uberboned: (Guilty and shameless)
[WELCOME BACK TO THE BARGE, have some Sinatra to twist the knife into your already anguished hearts, because Gabe can't resist mocking the masses. NEVER MIND THAT IF HE LISTENED TO THE LYRICS, IT WOULD HIT UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO HOME, BUT MAYBE NOT, BECAUSE HE'S TOTALLY DENYING THAT HE HAS ANY FEELINGS OF THE LOVING VARIETY FOR PEOPLE NAMED MAX. REALLY. :|]

Welcome back to reality, and to lull you back into that horrible den of self-realization, here's a long-distance dedication for all you newlyweds out there, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Trickster. May the next week be extremely awkward for all of you. 

As for me... Can every port be like that one? I think I've had enough lust and schadenfreude to keep me happy for the rest of the winter. 
uberboned: (Worse.... Or better?)
[Transmission clicks on mid-rant,  because he meant to turn the damn thing on, but got distracted by a wayward Cupid. Those little things are pesky. :|]

-little sparkly freak. Annnd the light's blinking. For those of you watching at home, I didn't dropkick Cupid, but I'm about ten seconds from it. You think that would offend the locals? ....I wonder what they do to criminals in this town. I'm not really seeing this as being the hang 'em high kinda place. Unless the nooses are made of licorace or something. Geez. It's like the Valentine's section at a department store exploded. Or we docked in a Disney movie and, by the way? If anyone breaks into song, I'm... No, I'm actually probably gonna laugh and consider the Admiral worthy of my undying respect. 

Also, I'm offended at this place's complete disregard for anything other than traditional couples. If this is the love port, you'd think there'd be a lot more orgies. Woodstock was better at free love than this joint and a heckuva lot less cheesy. C'mon.

Anyway. Maxxie, Rubes, Deano, JD, John-Boy, Ringo... Whoever else is out there bored out of their skulls and wandering listlessly around this joint with nothing to do... As soon as I take care of some business in the casino, I'm parking it at the bar and am not moving an inch until we leave. Wild horses covered in pink flowers will not drag me from that place, but hot local girls might. 

[OOC: And by "take care of something in the casino," he means "harrass the patrons." A LOT OF GAMBLERS ARE DICKS, OKAY? Feel free to spam, comment, do whatever you want. He has a date with Max and Ruby (not simultaneously), at some point, and a make-out session with Irene, but I'm still all open for plotting if anyone wants it. I am flexible like that.]

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Gabriel, aka The Trickster

January 2014

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