uberboned: (The Dude abides)
[Gabriel is mainly posting this so everyone can see he's a cool customer again. Mostly. He's sprawled out on a chair and tilting back on two legs with his legs propped up on his desk and massaging his forehead. This is probably the most NOT ENTIRELY ZEN you will ever see Gabriel. This is... What feeling trapped and not able to do anything about people like Armand (y'know the way he usually does) does to him.]

I know I'm gonna get so much flack for saying this, but... I don't care what any of you think- surprise!- but I, personally, need a port. I don't care if it's Jurassic friggin' Park. Stop the ride, I wanna get off. I'd take five minutes. You all could stay on the friggin' boat for all I care. Heck, leave without me. I can start a new life with the dinosaurs.

[Pause. He glares at the camera.]

That was not a suggestion, Admiral Asshole. I'm allowed one moment of melodrama and this is it.

[And then he just turns on the bitchface.]

And now we return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

[The transmission clicks off.]

[Private to Dean]

[And the video clicks back on. Gabriel's holding up his copy of Casa Erotica 13 now with added post-it note attached to it. Dean was... Kind enough to leave it while he was being a sulky bitch with Murphy. Gabriel really needs to get better locks for his door. ....He never uses that door anyway.]

Look. I got the memo. You don't wanna be bothered? Fine. This is me, not bothering you, but I've got one thing to say, so I'm gonna say it. I've got enough on my plate without getting the skinny on what exactly went down out there, so if you ever yank yourself up outta that pit you're in? What happened back home is gonna be a strictly "Don't ask, don't tell" situation. Got it?

And as for this and, more importantly, the whole gory story of why it happened? [He shakes the DVD. It promptly goes up in flames and Gabriel flicks the ashes away.] That's between you, me, and Sam, wherever the heck he may be. Comprende?

[Private to Murphy- added later]

How bad d'you wanna pick a fight with someone right now?
uberboned: (Respect my authority fool)
[Annnd we have "Bill" back. He is, you'll notice, sans mustache. (Thank you, Murphy.) He does, however, look deeply, deeply serious.]

It's true. I did lie about having memories. I'm not Bill Kohler, post-it billionaire. However, after all this, I've retained enough of my mind to know one thing about myself. I'm....

[Pause for dramatic effect.]

A government agent. And I know for a fact that one of you is the culprit behind this whole... Mass amnesia thing. In fact, I know who the culprit is.

[He leans forward, getting his face really close to the camera.]

There's nowhere you can run on a boat, pal. And I will make it my personal business to find you, Mr.-

[And the flood ends and all of a sudden, you have Gabriel looking like a deer in the headlights for half a second before he shuts off the recording with EPIC FORCE.]

[[OOC: Okay, so Gabriel and The Riddler kinda decided they were each other's archnemesis...es during the flood and I'm assuming he and Murphy did some investigating, but, uh, they only had a voice to go on, so they never really got anywhere with it, so Gabriel was just trying to lure him out and make him do something crazy by pretending he knew who he was. And stuff. Also.... He's not gonna respond to most messages, because have I mentioned that floods make him REALLY UNHAPPY? He needs time to recompose himself and be a man about his emotions again.]]
uberboned: (That's who the fuck I am)
[The recorder is on for a LONG FREAKIN' TIME, because LORD DOES GABRIEL WANNA FRIGGIN' KILL RIGHT NOW. He hasn't gotten this pissed since Shinzon and he didn't do anything about that either, because he's doing that whole restraint thing, but... Yeah. Look, Armand hits his JACKASS BUTTON. HARD. And he's not sure what he's gonna do about that yet. And, honestly, his life is just wonderful all around right now and he just keeps... Not dealing.

Finally, rather than list all the reasons you should not piss off an archangel, he just... Settles for being a fucking Warden. You're welcome, Barge. Thankfully, Gabriel's not the type to really hold grudges for long times and tends to just let things go, so this won't fester.... Well, except for the part where he HATES ARMAND SO FREAKIN' MUCH. :\]



Irene, stay in your room, don't take candy from vampires, eat your vegetables, don't sass your Warden, annnd.... All that other crap.


[[OOC: ASSUME MISATO AND DESMOND PUT UP ONE OF THESE FOR LOKI AND DANNY. I really don't feel like writing sixty freakin' journal entries saying the same thing. I chose to post Gabriel's, because... His was actually witty or sommat.]]

uberboned: (Shifty thoughts are shifty)
I figure me bein' kinda new to this whole thing means this is old hat by now, but seriously? I don't think meaningful progress gets made if you keep resettin' people's brains. Maybe I'm completely outta line here, but that sounds kinda counterproductive, but, hey, what do I know? I'm just the guy who's been workin' this angle since the dawn of creation.

Whatever. I'm back. The Great Outdoors are not as great as previously advertised, but it was kinda worth it, 'cause I'm sure Irene'll be pickin' sticks out of her hair for the next week and, hopefully, she learned something from all that. Unless, of course, the Admiral thinks I'm not doin' my job properly and erases her memory. 'Cause nothing like making a breakthrough just to have it blown up in your face. Yep! Smells like job satisfaction to me.

[Gabe's a little twitchy about the memory loss thing. CAN YOU TELL? It's not even just the fact that it's JD and Dean (and Max and Shawn are still unaccounted for). IT'S THE FACT THAT THE ADMIRAL CAN FUCK WITH PEOPLE THAT ROYALLY AND SCREW HIM OVER TO BOOT. Yeah. Gabe? Don't approve of these shenanigans that he can't control. Wah. Poor angel. Blah, blah, blah.]
uberboned: (You can almost hear the Phil Collins)
Storytime, Barge!

Once there was an archangel who, after suffering from death-by-fire and holed up in a room for two days straight, received a request for some R&R time with one of his favorite people. Considering he's about to go insane laying in bed all day, he drops by to visit said person and lo and behold! That person's not there anymore. Hm, says the archangel. That's really weird. So he pops back into the room of the girl he's staying with, while his room smells like Kentucky Fried Archangel to tell her how weird it is that JD invites a guy to come get him and then just vanishes and... There's no Max. There's Max's stuff, but no Max.

So the archangel, confused but not deterred, popped by his next door neighbor's room to see what he thinks of this weird turn of events.

Also gone.

Moral of the story: Iiiif you're someone I like well enough to call a friend, could you, I dunno... Make like the Mickey Mouse Club and do a sound-off, 'cause this? This is getting a little too uncomfortable for my liking. I mean, this is the kind of thing I would do to mess with someone and I don't like being messed with. Okay?

[[OOC: So I'm sick as a dog today, so tags might be slow-to-nonexistent today, but I needed to get this up before it was too late, because it would have been OOC for Gabe not to react to this. At any rate, Gabe's not acting nearly as panicky as you'd expect him to act, because repressing emotions are healthy, but he's totally freaking out on the inside. Also, GDI. Gabe has a lot of CR with Nicci's characters. XD;;]]
uberboned: (brb dead)
[[OOC: Gabe decided to not blip out of the infirmary at the first stage of consciousness, half because OH GOD OW. And... Half because his pride is hurt so much that he wants to be MISERABLE in a ball... Mostly, it's because his room smells like barbecue long pig. FU, BELA. He's a pissed off ball of archangel fury right now, but IT'S OKAY, because due to the fact that he has notoriously short Death Tolls, he's nearly powerless for the first couple of days after reviving. AIN'T HIS LIFE GRAND?]]

[Weakly]

That.... Was a lot less fun than the first time. Can we... Not barbecue the angel every week? Huh? I know I've got this stunning personality that makes people wanna set me on fire, but c'mon. We all know it don't stick and it just leaves a huge mess that no one wants to deal with. Okay?

[There's a moment where he might say something else, but then he just cuts the transmission. HIS DELICATE ANGEL PRIDE IS WOUNDED AND NO HE DOESN'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.]
uberboned: (I BELIEVE IT IS FIRE-RELATED)
[THIS IS NOT A DRILL. IT IS ALSO NOT A JOURNAL ENTRY. IT IS THE FRANTIC YELLING OF AN ARCHANGEL ON LEVEL SEVEN, AND YOU MIGHT NOT NOTICE IT IMMEDIATELY, BECAUSE THE BARGE IS FULL OF HELLHOUNDS, RUN AWAY.

Mostly this is a lot of cursing with the occasional "NO, REALLY LET ME OUT" or "DEAN, YOU ARE GONNA WISH YOU WERE BACK AT THE MYSTERY SPOT WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU."

Gabriel's impotent rage is currently impotent.]
uberboned: (Thinking of ways to end you)
[There's a long pause before Gabe actually speaks, because he wants everyone to hear the DULCET STRAINS OF 70'S DISCO BLARING FROM SOMEWHERE IN HIS ROOM. When he speaks over it, he kinda has the tone of a man at the end of his rope. Pay attention, children. This doesn't happen often.]

Someone on this boat  thinks they're a comedian and it's not me.

Dean, do I need to kill you 500 more times?

[NO, DEAN. HE DOESN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU, BUT WHO ELSE WOULD STICK SOMETHING WITH LYRICS LIKE "BURN, BABY, BURN" IN HIS ROOM. :|]
uberboned: (Thinking of ways to end you)
[SO GABE'S A LITTLE ANNOYED, considering, you know, the Admiral revealed his ~~secret identity~~ and all that and Max is pissed at him. So here, Barge, have a grumpy archangel, officially coming out of the angel closet.]

OKAY. I GET IT. For the five people who didn't pay attention to the Admiral's announcement, yes, I'm actually Gabriel. Yep. That one. If the halo fits and all that. And y'know, there was a perfectly good reason for the deception, 'cause I don't like going around telling people I'm an archangel. It's a personal thing and not a "let's play a massive joke on the Barge to see if they'll buy it" thing. Okay? Okay.

And before I get a hundred questions about the same damn thing, lemme clear some stuff up for you guys.

1. Yes, I have wings. My vessel, unfortunately, does not, so no you can't see them, unless you're not that fond of your eyes. 

2. I have never, in my entire billions of years in existence, had Shirley temple curls. Okay?

3. The Virgin Mary has a wicked right cross. True story.

4. No, you don't get to know why I'm pretending to be a Trickster. That information's on a need to know basis, and, look at that! You people don't need to know.

Hope that clears everything up. 

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uberboned: (Default)
Gabriel, aka The Trickster

January 2014

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