034 (Video) Gabriel's gotta set the world straight, okay?

[uberboned]

[Gabriel is mainly posting this so everyone can see he's a cool customer again. Mostly. He's sprawled out on a chair and tilting back on two legs with his legs propped up on his desk and massaging his forehead. This is probably the most NOT ENTIRELY ZEN you will ever see Gabriel. This is... What feeling trapped and not able to do anything about people like Armand (y'know the way he usually does) does to him.]

I know I'm gonna get so much flack for saying this, but... I don't care what any of you think- surprise!- but I, personally, need a port. I don't care if it's Jurassic friggin' Park. Stop the ride, I wanna get off. I'd take five minutes. You all could stay on the friggin' boat for all I care. Heck, leave without me. I can start a new life with the dinosaurs.

[Pause. He glares at the camera.]

That was not a suggestion, Admiral Asshole. I'm allowed one moment of melodrama and this is it.

[And then he just turns on the bitchface.]

And now we return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

[The transmission clicks off.]

[Private to Dean]

[And the video clicks back on. Gabriel's holding up his copy of Casa Erotica 13 now with added post-it note attached to it. Dean was... Kind enough to leave it while he was being a sulky bitch with Murphy. Gabriel really needs to get better locks for his door. ....He never uses that door anyway.]

Look. I got the memo. You don't wanna be bothered? Fine. This is me, not bothering you, but I've got one thing to say, so I'm gonna say it. I've got enough on my plate without getting the skinny on what exactly went down out there, so if you ever yank yourself up outta that pit you're in? What happened back home is gonna be a strictly "Don't ask, don't tell" situation. Got it?

And as for this and, more importantly, the whole gory story of why it happened? [He shakes the DVD. It promptly goes up in flames and Gabriel flicks the ashes away.] That's between you, me, and Sam, wherever the heck he may be. Comprende?

[Private to Murphy- added later]

How bad d'you wanna pick a fight with someone right now?

Comments

[cisskabob]

...Please don't tell me this is your way of pulling the "I'm no mere mortal human so I couldn't possibly be susceptible to the same mind games as everyone else and you can't understand my hidden pain, you silly human girl" card, too.

If that's not what this is, please continue with your moment of melodrama. I've never seen a melodramatic angel.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[LOL. SEE GABRIEL EVADE.]

Pfft. What? Why would you think that? Is someone pullin' that card on you? You want me to punch 'em until they talk about their pain? Or... Something.

Also, technically, we're all kinda melodramatic. It's sorta in the job description. I just gave it up when I turned in my halo with my two weeks.

[cisskabob]

[CISSIE SEES THROUGH THAT, GABE. SHE'S FRIENDS WITH THE MOST EVASIVE ROBIN.]

I dunno, I think it might be the whole preferring Jurassic Park to the Good Ship Lollipop thing. Did you get drunk and do terribly embarrassing things? That seems to be what most people are upset about. Certain Time Lords holding the weight of the universe on their shoulders excluded.

I suppose you have a point. What's the difference between melodrama and plain old drama, anyway? I've always wondered.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Jurassic Park makes sense. There are dinosaurs. If you don't get eaten, you live! It's as easy as franchise-based film-making.

I had a mustache and thought I was an international spy. My amnesia week was awesome.

Melodrama is when it's just so overdramatic, it's hilarious, instead of sad. Sometimes I go back through the Bible and remember the crap I used to say and just die a little.

[cisskabob]

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I'd get eaten. That doesn't sound like much fun. That franchise gave me nightmares; there's an entire generation terrified of velociraptors now.

At least there's that. I just tried to figure out if I was someone famous. I'm not.

Well, you could claim you were misquoted, but since you've admitted that it makes you die a little on the inside, it might negate that. If it's not the flood, what is inspiring tonight's bout of melodrama?

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Please. That's what the big strong godlike beings are for- being impressive and taking out the velociraptors. Or whatever.

[Hnnnngh. You are the only person he can't be mean and bitchy to, Cissie.]

Just... Been stuck on this boat too long. That four months out made the difference really noticeable.

[Private]

[cisskabob]

In that case, if we land in Jurassic Park because of this, I'm expecting you to save me from the carnivores. I'll at least be smart enough not to use a port-o-potty, so I should be okay with the T-Rex, but still.

[This is her superpower, yo.]

Cabin Fever. It gets to the best of us. But I think I missed that while I was gone. It wasn't four months here though, right? Because I don't know how much I trust my concept of time and stuff after the ways our brains keep getting messed with. I was gone for two weeks and don't remember a second of it, which sucks. Is there stuff going on back home you're worried about?

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

You got it.

[Yes, it is. BLONDES. GABRIEL'S ONLY WEAKNESS.]

It was two days.

[HNNNNNNN. ABORT. ABORT. ABORT. LIE MODE ON. ACT CASUAL.]

Not really. I just don't like being confined for this long.

[Video/Private]

[possemagnet.livejournal.com]

Do I look like the kinda person who'd go screaming that bullshit from the rooftops?

[Video transmission ended.]

[Private]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

...That depends.

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

On?

[Private]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

Who with and why.

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Me and because you want the challenge.

[Because it's allll on you, Murph. ALWAYS.]

[Private]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

...You want me to try and beat you up.

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

The key word there is try.

[Private]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[She rests her fingers against her temple, debating briefly whether or not she wants to ask why he's really offering her this.

Except she's pretty sure she already knows. And yes, it's going to be humiliating, but better a little personal humiliation than him going off on the barge.]

Gym?

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'll meetcha there, Slowpoke.

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[She changes into a tanktop and sweats and makes her way to the gym, taking her time.

Just because.

:|]

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel's sprawled on some gym equipment, still wearing his normal clothes, although the jacket's been discarded and his sleeves are rolled up. He is so not dressed for this. He does not care.

As soon as she enters, he rolls off and swaggers over.]

Gonna warn you right now. I cheat.

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[She braces her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes.] I'm shocked.

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He cracks his knuckles over his head, more for just show than anything else and winks at her.]

What're you waiting for?

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[She sighs, takes a quick half-step forward, and goes for his wrist, her physical cues absolutely minimal.]

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel doesn't need physical cues. Not for this. As long as he knows she's moving, he can react. He vanishes just before she reaches him appearing a good ten feet behind her.]

Huh. Looks like your aim's a little off.

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't answer, instead just turns on her heel and charges him, dropping into a roll in the last few feet to come up onto her feet and give him an uppercut to the stomach.]

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[You're fast, young Skywalker.

...But not fast enough. Gabriel's gone again and now he's whistling from a corner of the gym as he leans against a punching bag.]

Not bad. Almost got me. C'mon, Charlie Brown. I won't pull the football away this time. I swear.

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[Her jaw gives a tiny twitch as it locks in irritation, but she doesn't charge this time, just walks up to him, her expression entirely closed.] Are you done, Professor Challenger?

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He leans down so that he's almost nose to nose with her and grins.]

I prefer Doctor Manhattan. Y'know, without the whole being naked and blue thing. [He rolls his eyes and backs away a bit.]

Okay. Fine. You get a free one. Come at me. I won't move this time.

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[He's barely stopped talking and she's in motion, a fluid streak of white and golden blond, almost preternaturally fast. There's a reason she's a ninth-dan Aikido practitioner.

She seizes the outside of his wrist, twisting it at the same time as she slides under his arm and twists it around and part-way up his back. She steps in, breaking his balance and sending him face down into the ground. Hard.

Murphy gives his arm a slight, extra twist, leaning in just a bit.] You should have moved.

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel grunts against the floor. Were he human, he's pretty sure that would have broken something. As it stands, it's just annoying. Combat fighting? Not his strong suit. Still, he allows her the benefit of her victory for a few more seconds and then he moves.

If her movements were preternatural, then there's nothing like Gabriel's speed. He untwists his arm, rolling onto his back and away from her, yanking her down on top of him and regaining control of his hand. That done, he grabs her arms and rolls back over, pinning her to the ground with both of her arms over her head.

The whole movement takes less than a few seconds. Combat fighting might not be his strong suit, but Murphy's still only human.

He's not even breathing hard when he leans down to meet her eyes with his, their faces barely an inch apart.]

Your kung-fu is strong, Grasshopper, but not strong enough.

[And then he actually meets her eyes directly and there's a moment where he's completely taken by surprise. It's gone a second later, but not completely- just overwhelmed with this intense desire to kiss her. Where is that coming from... Aside from the obvious.]

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

[The nervous surge of adrenaline when he drags her down doubles when he pins her arms over her head. And he's strong. Horribly, awfully strong. She stays absolutely still, reminding herself that he's not a big bad. He's a friend.

And that reminder is stopped midstream as she's confronted with his very hazel eyes. She's frozen, for a half-second, before relaxing under him and raising her eyebrows.] You cheat.

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He tilts his head slightly to one side like a dog that thinks it might've heard his name being called, a slow smile creeping across his face and replacing any surprise. He hasn't made a move to let her up yet. For all practical purposes, he's conveniently forgotten this is a compromising position.]

Trickster. Comes with the territory. What? You gonna be a sore loser?

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

It's not really winning if you don't play it straight. [This should not be comfortable. She tilts her head fractionally, matching his expression with an ironic smile of her own.] Gonna let me up now?

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Not my fault I'm stronger than you are. Geez. What's the point of having useful assets if you're not gonna actually use 'em, huh?

[He lets that question hang in the air, but doesn't shift or make a move to let her up. After a moment, he speaks, his tone suggesting something else.]

You gonna try to put the moves on me again, Carradine?

[Spam]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

Gabriel. [She gives her hands a brief wriggle.] You don't seem to realize how easy it would be for me to knee you in the balls right now.

[She lifts her head enough to rest her forehead against his, so they're eye to eye again.] Now--

[A pause. A frown.] ...Do you smell that?

[Spam]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[The touch of her forehead against his sends an electric sensation down his spine and he comes so close to just kissing her and seeing if that quells her silly violent tendencies, but his brain catches up with his extremely good sense of smell and he swears a blue streak, clambering off of Murphy and getting to his feet.]

Sulfur. Alastair's showing out. The sonuvabitch. [Which is... Odd, considering he's not supposed to have any powers. He's gonna kill that son of a bitch for cockblocking him. He looks down at Murphy and offers her a hand.] Ever watched an archangel take down an archdemon?