Those guys are either gonna dust you or use you as bait.

[Gabriel is mainly posting this so everyone can see he's a cool customer again. Mostly. He's sprawled out on a chair and tilting back on two legs with his legs propped up on his desk and massaging his forehead. This is probably the most NOT ENTIRELY ZEN you will ever see Gabriel. This is... What feeling trapped and not able to do anything about people like Armand (y'know the way he usually does) does to him.]

I know I'm gonna get so much flack for saying this, but... I don't care what any of you think- surprise!- but I, personally, need a port. I don't care if it's Jurassic friggin' Park. Stop the ride, I wanna get off. I'd take five minutes. You all could stay on the friggin' boat for all I care. Heck, leave without me. I can start a new life with the dinosaurs.

[Pause. He glares at the camera.]

That was not a suggestion, Admiral Asshole. I'm allowed one moment of melodrama and this is it.

[And then he just turns on the bitchface.]

And now we return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

[The transmission clicks off.]

[Private to Dean]

[And the video clicks back on. Gabriel's holding up his copy of Casa Erotica 13 now with added post-it note attached to it. Dean was... Kind enough to leave it while he was being a sulky bitch with Murphy. Gabriel really needs to get better locks for his door. ....He never uses that door anyway.]

Look. I got the memo. You don't wanna be bothered? Fine. This is me, not bothering you, but I've got one thing to say, so I'm gonna say it. I've got enough on my plate without getting the skinny on what exactly went down out there, so if you ever yank yourself up outta that pit you're in? What happened back home is gonna be a strictly "Don't ask, don't tell" situation. Got it?

And as for this and, more importantly, the whole gory story of why it happened? [He shakes the DVD. It promptly goes up in flames and Gabriel flicks the ashes away.] That's between you, me, and Sam, wherever the heck he may be. Comprende?

[Private to Murphy- added later]

How bad d'you wanna pick a fight with someone right now?

[There's a sound of wrappers crinkling all through this. Gabe may be eating his weight in Little Debbie snack cakes, but that's how he always eats, so it's not really that noteworthy. Also, Gabe sounds ridiculously cheerful through the whole thing and never loses it.]

Y'know the best part of not being human? Things like this? Just roll off you. I mean, c'mon. What's one more vessel? Am I right? Huh?

[There's a pause and then...]

Suck it up and deal. It could be a lot worse

[OOC: SO GABE'S BEEN 40% MORE TROLLY THAN USUAL. This is because Gabe has serious control issues and floods? Are gonna screw with him emotionally, because he doesn't like things happening to him that he can't fix- getting a taste of his own medicine generally displeases him. Yeah, I know. Poor baby. His way of combating emotional distress, however, is to pretend like everything's fine and be aggressively cheerful and aggressively... Well, Gabe. Also, he kinda wound up flailing at Az last night and he's annoyed at the world right now on top of everything else. FUN TIMES. Also if I start switching to Gabe's dude icons mid-tag, IT'S BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T VERY MANY DECENT ICONS OF HIS GIRL!PB AND GABE'S FACES ARE IMPORTANT. PREEEETEND HE'S A WOMAN.]