uberboned: (THIS SHIT'S HILARIOUS YAY)
[Contrary to what the title of this entry says, Gabriel's not gonna be singing that song because I still have PSTD from the last time I wrote a song parody. He is, however, on camera, and golf clapping at the whole Barge and grinning like a maniac. He finds you all so very entertaining.]

Bravo, gang. Bravo.

[ADDITIONAL SPAM FOR MURPHY]

[Knock, knock, Murphy. :|

He gave you some time after the whole Armand incident, now it's time to pay the piper... The piper being Gabriel and paying being.. Tolerating his existence.

Hopefully, there won't be any singing. There will be.]


[[OOC: Gabriel's affected, but he hasn't really gotten the ~movement~ to sing yet... Except in that thread with Howie, but I haven't written that tag yet because I put way too much thought into song choices. orz. MAKE HIM SING, BARGE. ]]
uberboned: (Wait. No. That's not awesome.)
[Gabriel is backed into a corner of his North Wing cell, wet and miserable and shaken up, but he's still trying to hold it together, even while he's doing it with duct tape and prayers. Unfortunately, right now there's a doctor in his cell. A very creepy ghost doctor. Gabriel's staring up at him like he's been expecting something like this to happen. He's unamused, but unafraid, by all appearances. He has the video on his journal on, but all you can see is him.]

Gabriel, do you remember why you're here?

Well, Doc, it all started when you mooks nabbed me outta my cabin on the good shop lollipop.

[The doctor chuckles.] Your brothers warned me about that.

[Glaaare] You don't know my family.

They were here just the other day. They were disappointed when you said you didn't want to see them.

If you don't wanna find out if ghosts can have their limbs rearranged, I'd stop talking. You know what I am. Give me ten seconds on a full battery and I'll tear this place down to studs, you prick.

Those violent tendencies again... and delusions of grandeur. You're not making any progress at all.

Shut up.

You should talk to your brother. You know, he forgives you for trying to kill him.

[Gabriel stands at that.] Lucifer killed me. [It doesn't even matter to him that this is public. He's losing it and trying not to.]

Religious visions. You still think your brother is the devil? And that you're an archangel who ran away from Heaven.... And a Trickster, as well. Your brother was trying to stop you from killing more people.

[Gabriel's starting to get panicky now] You... Did someone slip a roofie in your coffee, asshole? I'm not a serial killer.

But you are, Gabriel. You gruesomely murdered four people.

No. You're getting it all wrong-

Did you or did you not?

Yes! Okay? Yes, I killed them. But-

A professor in Springfield, Ohio. Killed by defenestration.

No.

Another professor from the same campus. Torn apart by some sort of wild animal that you set loose on him.

[A horrified laugh.] No. That's not-

Daniel Hasselbeck-

Wait. Wait. You can't-

-thrown into a mineshaft.

Okay. I am way more creative than that.

And another man in Wellington, Ohio. You decapitated him.

I did not. What the hell?

I'm sorry, Gabriel, but until we see some progress, I'm afraid you're going to have to remain here.

No. You son of a bitch. You- [He lunges, dropping the communicator in the process and there's a sudden THUNK, like someone ramming into a wall. After a moment, Gabriel's feet some into view and he kicks the communicator. It clicks off. Thankfully, it's... Not broken. Just very traumatized.]

uberboned: (Time for a sexy party!)
[Due to the chaos of the last week... Startling confessions, mindfreaking his Inmate, on top of the fact that he still hasn't wholly recovered from last month, Gabriel is doing what Gabriel does best in a bad situation- overcompensating by pretending he is a ball of TOTALLY OKAY.

Also, he's pissed off, because no one seems to remember that he is the most powerful thing on the Barge, save the Admiral, himself, and he's an arrogant bastard. And this is how he reminds people in a casual, nonthreatening way.

How is he doing this today? Well. As the video feed clicks on, we see our resident archangel sprawled across the couch in his horribly porn star-tastic cabin. His head is in the lap of a blonde in very little but lacy black lingerie and she's petting his hair affectionately. His feet are in the lap of a busty brunette and being massaged in such a way that Quentin Tarantino could write a monologue about it.

Yeah. It's about as trashy as it sounds.

After a moment, he shifts and raises a hand, holding up one finger. Even though he's not looking at the camera, he's clearly addressing the Barge.]


So, uh.... Here's an idea. How about the next time someone thinks about mentioning how bored they are.... They just, I dunno.... Let the thought go.

[....Yes, he totally ruined your lives with magic hookers just to say that. That's Gabriel for you.]
uberboned: (Hells yeah)
[I'm going to assume Gabe's disco is gone, thanks to Az. Or Dean got bored and made it go away. Or Gabe is actually recording this from a maintenance hallway where he has taken up residence to live forever as a hobo. Whatever.]

I don't wanna be the guy pulling the divine retribution card here, but I wasn't here for the whole "Davros situation" and all I know is that he's some crazy guy in a wheelchair who... Likes genocide or something. This is all hearsay. Whatever. Don't actually care for the gory details. All I know is that half of everyone's afraid of him, the other half thinks that half is stupid, and a good portion of people here just wanna kick over the little son of a bitch's wheelchair. And he's a dick.

But, uh, guys? You have two, count 'em- two angels on this boat, on top of whatever else is lurking, so what's the big deal? If he tries anything shifty until some poor sap gets shackled to him, we got it covered. Ain't nothing we can't handle. Really. I promise. Return to your lives as normal, citizens.

[Private to Irene.]

Don't poke the crazy guy in the wheelchair. Or I'll find you. And you'll hate it.

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Gabriel, aka The Trickster

January 2014

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