043- (Voice with some added delicious spam if you're daring)

Jul. 24th, 2010 09:27 pm
uberboned: ([T] ADORABLY FREAKED OUT)
[Gabriel is wandering through the woods, because he's on his way to the cool counselor's party or... I dunno. Meeting someone for some secret rendezvous. You never know with him.]

Guys... And by guys, I mean the people in the, uh... Stupid small horse cabin. [That's the Tarpan Cabin, for those keeping score at home. Who the hell knows what's in that cabin. The leftovers? The home for the pathologically short?] We've been challenged and by we, I mostly... Ow. [There's a pause. Genius has obviously been whacked by a branch or gotten tangled in something.]

Anyway. The whole cabin's going on a hike tomorrow morning. Some of you may not survive.

Hopefully, your deaths will be badass.

If you hide, I'll find you. Don't think I won't. I've got mad skills.

[There's a long, long pause.]

....Where the hell am I?

[[OOC: YEAH, SO BUFFY CHALLENGED GABRIEL TO A HIKE-OFF. And now he's determined to win... Except right now, he's... Lost in the woods, because I'm a horrible person and he's a dumb shit. OPEN FOR SPAM IF ANYONE WANTS IN ON... LOST IN THE WOODS SHENANIGANS. Because, really, someone had to... Unless someone did and I missed it. PFFFT. EVERYONE GETS LOST IN THE WOODS. IT'S A PARTY.]]
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040 (Written) WORST FLOOD EVER

Jul. 12th, 2010 12:55 am
uberboned: ([VIP] Displeased by this fuckery)
[It should worry anyone that Lord I Love The Sound of My Own Voice is writing this, instead of, you know, proclaiming his trolling to everyone in the known universe.

It helps that it's... Not his voice right now.  :|]

If anyone needs me....

.....Y'know what? No one need me until this is over. Period.
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038 (Voice/Video) And, all the while, coyote keeps on singing....

Jun. 26th, 2010 11:31 pm
uberboned: ([Coyote] Trickster grin)
[There's some scratching sounds on the microphone and what to human ears will sound like a frustrated dog's growling is actually Gabriel swearing and trying to urge HIS NEWFOUND PAWS to operate the controls on his journal. After a moment of cojoling, the video clicks on and there's an EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF A PAIR OF AMBER EYES AND A SNOUT... And then Gabriel hops back, revealing... A coyote. Sitting in a chair, tilting his head at the camera.]

...Honestly? I was kinda expecting a lot worse.

[Now watch as he realizes that only the fraction of the Barge that is currently animal in nature actually understands what he just said. HE CAN ONLY BE ANNOYING TO A SMALL PORTION OF THE POPULACE.]
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033- (Video) Backdated to JUST BEFORE the flood ends.

May. 17th, 2010 06:30 pm
uberboned: (Respect my authority fool)
[Annnd we have "Bill" back. He is, you'll notice, sans mustache. (Thank you, Murphy.) He does, however, look deeply, deeply serious.]

It's true. I did lie about having memories. I'm not Bill Kohler, post-it billionaire. However, after all this, I've retained enough of my mind to know one thing about myself. I'm....

[Pause for dramatic effect.]

A government agent. And I know for a fact that one of you is the culprit behind this whole... Mass amnesia thing. In fact, I know who the culprit is.

[He leans forward, getting his face really close to the camera.]

There's nowhere you can run on a boat, pal. And I will make it my personal business to find you, Mr.-

[And the flood ends and all of a sudden, you have Gabriel looking like a deer in the headlights for half a second before he shuts off the recording with EPIC FORCE.]

[[OOC: Okay, so Gabriel and The Riddler kinda decided they were each other's archnemesis...es during the flood and I'm assuming he and Murphy did some investigating, but, uh, they only had a voice to go on, so they never really got anywhere with it, so Gabriel was just trying to lure him out and make him do something crazy by pretending he knew who he was. And stuff. Also.... He's not gonna respond to most messages, because have I mentioned that floods make him REALLY UNHAPPY? He needs time to recompose himself and be a man about his emotions again.]]
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032 (Video)

May. 15th, 2010 10:05 pm
uberboned: (OOC: Pornstache)
[The video clicks on and you are greeted to the BRAIN-SEARING IMAGE of Gabriel in a Hawaiian shirt with what can only be described as a lip caterpillar- OH YEAH, THE PORNSTACHE IS HAPPENING- and classy sunglasses. He's the Millionaire to your Gilligan, folks. He's also drinking a Bahama Mama and reclining somewhere in his hotel room.]

Oh come on. I can't be the only one who still has memories in this joint, can I? Huh?

Guess I'm gonna have to be the sane one on this boat. Hi. I'm Bill Kohler, local billionaire. You've probably heard of me. ....Oh that's right. You can't remember. Well, good luck with that. That's probably why they tell you not to drink the water in Mexico.

[[OOC: Gabriel's a bullshitter. He has no memory WHATSOEVER. His kneejerk spazz reaction to waking up with no memories ON TOP OF HIS FEELING LIKE SOMEONE AWESOME AND IMPORTANT made him automatically decide that HE MUST BE AN INTERNATIONAL SPY. So he's pretending to be unaffected by assuming an alias and hoping he can lure the culprit out of hiding, because there's totally a culprit AND HE MUST FIND THEM. And the mustache is a total fake. He has no idea he has powers and he just kinda... Wanted one and one appeared. And since amnesia!Gabe is kind of stupid, he went with it. It's spy magic.

And yes, even with amnesia, he's a jackass and a troll.

For those wondering, Bill Kohler is the name of Richard Speight's character in Jericho. Because I'm awesome like that.]]
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013 (Voice) There's a Rocky Horror song for everything...

Mar. 3rd, 2010 11:25 pm
uberboned: (THIS SHIT'S HILARIOUS YAY)
[Because Gabe does not sleep, this is posted at EXACTLY MIDNIGHT. SO HOPE YOU WEREN'T ASLEEP, BARGE. 'CAUSE YOU PROBABLY AREN'T NOW.]

Helloooo, Barge!

You recognize this voice?

It's my voice. It is! Huh? Huh?

That's right. I'm in the right body and, whoo, was I starting to miss it. And I will never, ever complain about being short again, my friends. Never.

Also, the Admiral can screw himself, but that's nothing new.

[Contrary to popular belief, cheerful does not stop at midnight.]
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012 (Voice)

Feb. 26th, 2010 04:25 pm
uberboned: (*Genderwap: INNOCENT RLY)
[There's a sound of wrappers crinkling all through this. Gabe may be eating his weight in Little Debbie snack cakes, but that's how he always eats, so it's not really that noteworthy. Also, Gabe sounds ridiculously cheerful through the whole thing and never loses it.]

Y'know the best part of not being human? Things like this? Just roll off you. I mean, c'mon. What's one more vessel? Am I right? Huh?

[There's a pause and then...]

Suck it up and deal. It could be a lot worse

[OOC: SO GABE'S BEEN 40% MORE TROLLY THAN USUAL. This is because Gabe has serious control issues and floods? Are gonna screw with him emotionally, because he doesn't like things happening to him that he can't fix- getting a taste of his own medicine generally displeases him. Yeah, I know. Poor baby. His way of combating emotional distress, however, is to pretend like everything's fine and be aggressively cheerful and aggressively... Well, Gabe. Also, he kinda wound up flailing at Az last night and he's annoyed at the world right now on top of everything else. FUN TIMES. Also if I start switching to Gabe's dude icons mid-tag, IT'S BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T VERY MANY DECENT ICONS OF HIS GIRL!PB AND GABE'S FACES ARE IMPORTANT. PREEEETEND HE'S A WOMAN.]
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