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[personal profile] uberboned

[A woman's voice comes over the line.]

You've reached the Trickster's voicemail. Unfortunately, Mr. Trickster isn't available to take your call, nor will he likely ever be. Should you still wish to leave a message, please respond after the tone, and maybe we'll remember to get it to him, mmkay?

[Beep]

[[OOC: This is an IC voicemail post for all verses games. Please put the name of the verse/game you want in the subject heading.]]

Date: 2011-08-29 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
And tastes like peppermint lighter fluid.

Date: 2011-08-29 05:56 pm (UTC)
paterelohim: (+ i ain't even mad)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
Pansy.

I think there are some sour apple schnappes in the fridge, and Hpnotiq in the freezer. That's fruity enough for you, right?

Date: 2011-08-30 03:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
Your BAC is more alcohol than blood, Hemingway. [Which is to say that Gabriel will be finding the sour apple schnapps with... Something that vaguely resembles gratitude.]

Date: 2011-08-30 05:15 am (UTC)
paterelohim: (+ oooh gurlfrand)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
Hemingway? That's a compliment. Drop the M-bomb and I think we'd have a problem.

Date: 2011-08-30 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
Please. Stephanie Meyer hasn't drank herself to death... Yet.

Date: 2011-08-30 05:23 am (UTC)
paterelohim: (= that's what you think)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
When I start writing psychologically masochistic cry for help wet dreams, we'll know I've crossed into the final Mormon dimension.

Date: 2011-08-31 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
Please. You already do. They're just not your wet dreams.

Date: 2011-08-31 05:29 pm (UTC)
paterelohim: (= so then i was dicks)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
Wait, are Sam and Dean's lives secretly metaphors for my deep-seated unhappiness with my Mormon lifestyle? That's news to me.

Date: 2011-08-31 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
More like it's Sam and Dean's Mormon lifestyles you oughta be worried about. You're the conduit. Meyer doesn't really doesn't have the "BTW I'm a prophet" excuse.

Date: 2011-08-31 05:35 pm (UTC)
paterelohim: (= welp)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
You never know. Maybe Renesmee was a seal.

Date: 2011-08-31 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
The fact that you actually know the kid's name concerns me.

Date: 2011-08-31 06:06 pm (UTC)
paterelohim: (= oh now let me see)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
I read this cracked-out breakdown of the series once after someone left a six-pack of Four Loko at my house. It's kind of a memorable name.

Date: 2011-09-02 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
And unpronounceable. If being a vampire with a future hubby twice her age didn't scar that kid, trying to write that crap on her Kindergarten nameplate would.

Date: 2011-09-02 02:29 am (UTC)
paterelohim: (= welp)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
Uh, excuse you, their pedophile love was beautiful.

[]

Date: 2011-09-02 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
And taught a generation of young girls that it's okay if the creepy older man watches you play while you're a toddler- he could totally be your future husband. Humbert Humbert's come a long way.

Date: 2011-09-02 02:40 am (UTC)
paterelohim: (= fake bitch can't write)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
At what point does she become an acceptable Trickster target?

Date: 2011-09-02 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
Who do you think leaked Midnight Son?

Date: 2011-09-02 02:45 am (UTC)
paterelohim: (+ :D :D :D)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
[ ...

Brb, laughing forever.]

Date: 2011-09-02 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] painhumbles.livejournal.com
Without me, we would've had to sit through another three books, plus another three just to get Jacob's side, and probably another hundred to cover the perspectives of all the minor characters.

I single-handedly saved the literary world.

Date: 2011-09-02 02:55 am (UTC)
paterelohim: (= full-on Vader)
From: [personal profile] paterelohim
Future scholars bow in gratitude to you.

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Gabriel, aka The Trickster

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