IC CONTACT POST

[uberboned]

[A woman's voice comes over the line.]

You've reached the Trickster's voicemail. Unfortunately, Mr. Trickster isn't available to take your call, nor will he likely ever be. Should you still wish to leave a message, please respond after the tone, and maybe we'll remember to get it to him, mmkay?

[Beep]

[[OOC: This is an IC voicemail post for all verses games. Please put the name of the verse/game you want in the subject heading.]]

Comments

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

I'm fat, I feel like crap, and I can't leave my apartment.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Because of the press? The same press that actually thinks the father of your Nephil child is "unknown?" Please. I could lead those mooks on a wild goose chase to the farthest reaches of the island.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

The same press that's surrounding the apartment building and trying to knock down my front door. So far I can spot...

Two SERO representatives and an AGI company car down the street.

[Because she's on the roof with binoculars.]

They probably just can't confirm you're the father because I sleep with so many other men.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Now would probably be a good time to relocate to the warehouse for a bit. Just saying. I mean, this has to blow over sometime, right? The Virgin Mary didn't get this much press.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

No one cares about virgins.

[There's the sound in the background of her snapping her fingers, then she chuckles lightly. That SERO representative who just tripped over the curb and fell into some gutter sludge? Totally not her fault.]

Maybe this is incentive to finally buy a house.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Try to avoid the shady Realtors or next you know, your house-hunting escapades'll be the next reality show.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Are you going to come rescue me or what?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[And if Jinx listens sharply to her left, she'll hear a sharp whistle and Gabriel's voice yelling:] Whoa! Look at her go. Boys, you better hoof it. For a pregnant woman, those little legs can move fast. Chop, chop, people. I hear TMZ's foaming at the mouth for this exclusive.

[And then there were none. And Jinx is joined by an smugass angel right beside her.]

They'll be chasing your doppelganger through every Starbucks on the island. We've got awhile.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[There's Jinx, sitting on the roof with binoculars still attached to her face. She's watching everyone scramble into cars and run, snickering and chewing on beef jerky in a very unladylike manner.]

Anyone ever tell you that you're the biggest asshole in this city and I'm Lucky to have you?

[Bad puns and everything. Either she was in a really good mood, or she was nervous. A little of both.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I am the Trickster. [Preeeen] You don't get a definitive article by half-assing anything. [And Gabriel's so high on NOT GIVING A DAMN EVEN IF THE ENTIRE CITY'S TALKING ABOUT FUMES that he's... Trying not to notice. Plus almost any shift in Jinx's emotions he chalks up to "UM PREGNANT?" Not his fault, he's never dealt with that before.

Although, Loki's latent memories were quit informative in the WORST WAY.]

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[She takes a moment to finish the piece of jerky she's mangling before she stands up. Her movements are careful; her back is sore. This is the heaviest she's been in her life and it's hard to get used to.]

So, the Trickster. Let's test your memory. Take me to the exact spot we went when we got our powers back.

I could use a crater full of flowers right about now.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I've never tried this on a pregnant woman before, but hopefully you won't throw up too much. And the kid should get used to it early. [He snaps. VOILA CRATER FULL OF FLOWERS.

He inhales deeply and sighs.]

I can still smell the glory and depravity.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Even if she's pregnant, she's had half a year to get used to it. All the sudden scene change manages to do it make her dizzy. That's easily solved by dropping like a fence post back into the grass and flowers.

Smiling, she looks up at the sky.]

Now that we have the appropriately picturesque scenery, the good memories, a symbol of our dramatized lives...I've got news you probably wanna sit the fuck down for.

[There's that nervousness again.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel stares at her. And blinks. And does not sit down.]

....It's twins, isn't it?

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

You don't see me throwing myself off a building, do you? [She was dead serious on that one.]

No. There's only one, and Doctor D called me today to tell me that [she swallows hard] she is doing just fine.

[And that's how Gabriel found out he was having a daughter.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[And that was how Gabriel figured out that there is nothing in the world that can cause an angel to faint from shock even if it would have been appropriate at this moment.]

I, uh... She? [His voice never used to squeak like that.]

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Jinx covers her face with both hands, exhaling shakily.]

We're going to have a house will a tall tower with no door so she can never leave. I'm praying she has nothing but your genetics. Your weight problems, your bad skin, your hairline...

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel bites his knuckles and goes eerily silent for a few moments before...]

....I'll go buy a shotgun. Just in case.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Jinx sits up, forehead in her hand.]

I want a new one. Do-over. I cannot deal with a girl. I can't. I can't even deal with anything under the age of eight, how the hell am I gonna do this?

Second thoughts. I'm definitely having second thoughts.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time seeing you with a daughter- I mean, it's a Joan Crawford situation just waiting to happen.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Seeing me with a daughter? [She gives him a look.]

Ahiru has you running around in circles. Our little abomination's going to have you whipped more than I could ever dream of.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....You forgot Maya. She's just more low-maintenance. [Facefall. Damn, he is a sucker for a little girl.]

And we're never getting a cat. Nothing that even vaguely resembles a cat. If the kid goes near something cat-like, I'm gonna lose it.

[...Oh wait. He's talking like they're keeping it. Fuckberries.]

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Either a reference just went right over my head or you're just talking like that because you're in shock.

[She motions for him to sit down next to her.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He flops down unceremoniously. Kyubey apparently ilicits this reaction.] Ahiru's contract's held by some demonic self-cannibalizing cat freak that will not die.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[She leans her head on his shoulder.]

I find the term "cat freak" racist and derogatory.

[She sighs.] How many times did you try killing it?