042- FINALLY HAVING AN EXCUSE TO USE THESE ICONS ROCKS.

[uberboned]

[Imagine if you will, this scenario. Eighteen year old Gabriel Too-Awesome-For-A-Last-Name sitting in someone's office and using the PA as his own personal voicebox to make his own personal announcements.... Okay, that's just the scenario that Gabriel is imagining in his currently extremely fluffy head, because it would be so cool if he'd really hijacked the PA System, but really he's just sitting in the counselor's cabin with his journal and a smugly superior tone of voice. If anyone knew what Gabriel actually sounded like here, they'd notice he sounds a little more high-pitched and a little less like he swallowed West Tennessee.]

And let's give a big round of applause for our Camp Manager. [Pause for the aforementioned applause. He can totally hear if you're not applauding.] I can assure you that the rumors that our Fearless Leader is an alien and this camp is his way of harvesting his favorite snacks- young, impressionable teenagers- are completely untrue. Those missing campers were found completely unharmed.

....I think.

[He pauses for dramatic effect.] But really, what you have to worry about isn't El Capitan in all his mysterious glory. Ohhh nooo, kids. The real problem? Is out there in the woods. Y'know, the whole... Monster thing. Buuut that's probably just a myth. Just like the alligators in the lake.

[Another pause. He bursts out laughing.] Kidding! They cleared those out last year. ....Maybe. Well, I, personally, haven't seen any, buuut.... [He shrugs, even though no one can see it. Or the comical faces he's making. Oh well.]

Anyway! Guess I should introduce myself. I'm Gabriel, one of your caring, compassionate camp counselors [ISN'T ALLITERATION FUN?], and I'm here to make sure your camping experience is the best that it can be. In fact, we're gonna start now. Don't do anything stupid to make me come down there and throw you in the lake, and I'll just... Leave you in the capable hands of some of the sticks in the mud that actually took this job for the life experience. You know who you are.

In the meantime... Ladies? You know where my cabin is. Same place it is every year. Be there. [Can you feel his eyebrow-waggling?

....No. No, we don't know how he keeps getting this job.]

Comments

[with_discipline]

Monsters do not exist. [Tie-dye versus logic: GO.]

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll be right down. Can I bring my gasoline and matches?

[darknessb4me]

Please tell me that last part was directed to the female campers. It's been awhile since I've been able to get my father to have someone fired.

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

It's too early to be scaring them. God, just leave them alone.

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

Wait, there are monsters and alligators?!

Awesome.

[toldastory]

There really aren't any such things as aliens, are there?

[happinessboys.livejournal.com]

If you're going to make up stories, you might as well try and make them worthwhile.

[charmedandperky.livejournal.com]

[Well done, Gabriel, you've managed to upset the one person whose mother died in a ruddy lake at camp! She tries for a kick to the shin.]

[estevezestevez.livejournal.com]

Unless you've actually seen the monsters, I call bullcrap on your monsters...and tie-dye went like disco and [have a snarky little pseudo-psychic]

[farsees.livejournal.com]

I think I'd prefer being thrown in the lake over getting contact herpes just by standing next to you. I really hope you're not my counselor.

[no-nanomites.livejournal.com]

Oh, Gabriel, you never change, do you?

[peektuttut]

Quit freaking them out, man. There are probably enough of them scared of the water.

Sexy irish accent response!

[givesomeback.livejournal.com]

What about the rumors about the counselors who only took the job as a way to get close to thirteen year old girls?

[requiresssacrifice]

Yay, another fun-filled summer.

[alwaysthequeenb.livejournal.com]

Has that ever even worked? Or are you stuck alone night after night? [ God, isn't she just precious in all her I'm the Queen of the Campers glory. ]

[i-excel.livejournal.com]

This is stupid.

[willkissawookie.livejournal.com]

Don't get any ideas.

video;

[triggered-it.livejournal.com]

[He just stares for a moment, incredibly unnerving.]

We're teenagers. Most of us don't believe in monsters, and I find it hard to believe that there are any alligators. Even if there were, they're usually timid toward people, unless they're provoked, or they feel their nest is in danger.

[That's all he has to say.]

[video]

[hulk]

...Gabe. [Facepalmmmm. RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT CATCHING, DARN IT. :<] This isn- Uh. Remember what we all talked about at that counselor orientation meeting? Especially that part about, you know. How we're not here t-too, ah. Mess around with the kids' heads? Remember that part?

I mean, you kinda rolled your eyes at that part, but I'm pretty sure you remember it?

[cisskabob]

Gabe, do you have to scare the new kids every year?