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[Imagine if you will, this scenario. Eighteen year old Gabriel Too-Awesome-For-A-Last-Name sitting in someone's office and using the PA as his own personal voicebox to make his own personal announcements.... Okay, that's just the scenario that Gabriel is imagining in his currently extremely fluffy head, because it would be so cool if he'd really hijacked the PA System, but really he's just sitting in the counselor's cabin with his journal and a smugly superior tone of voice. If anyone knew what Gabriel actually sounded like here, they'd notice he sounds a little more high-pitched and a little less like he swallowed West Tennessee.]
And let's give a big round of applause for our Camp Manager. [Pause for the aforementioned applause. He can totally hear if you're not applauding.] I can assure you that the rumors that our Fearless Leader is an alien and this camp is his way of harvesting his favorite snacks- young, impressionable teenagers- are completely untrue. Those missing campers were found completely unharmed.
....I think.
[He pauses for dramatic effect.] But really, what you have to worry about isn't El Capitan in all his mysterious glory. Ohhh nooo, kids. The real problem? Is out there in the woods. Y'know, the whole... Monster thing. Buuut that's probably just a myth. Just like the alligators in the lake.
[Another pause. He bursts out laughing.] Kidding! They cleared those out last year. ....Maybe. Well, I, personally, haven't seen any, buuut.... [He shrugs, even though no one can see it. Or the comical faces he's making. Oh well.]
Anyway! Guess I should introduce myself. I'm Gabriel, one of your caring, compassionate camp counselors [ISN'T ALLITERATION FUN?], and I'm here to make sure your camping experience is the best that it can be. In fact, we're gonna start now. Don't do anything stupid to make me come down there and throw you in the lake, and I'll just... Leave you in the capable hands of some of the sticks in the mud that actually took this job for the life experience. You know who you are.
In the meantime... Ladies? You know where my cabin is. Same place it is every year. Be there. [Can you feel his eyebrow-waggling?
....No. No, we don't know how he keeps getting this job.]
And let's give a big round of applause for our Camp Manager. [Pause for the aforementioned applause. He can totally hear if you're not applauding.] I can assure you that the rumors that our Fearless Leader is an alien and this camp is his way of harvesting his favorite snacks- young, impressionable teenagers- are completely untrue. Those missing campers were found completely unharmed.
....I think.
[He pauses for dramatic effect.] But really, what you have to worry about isn't El Capitan in all his mysterious glory. Ohhh nooo, kids. The real problem? Is out there in the woods. Y'know, the whole... Monster thing. Buuut that's probably just a myth. Just like the alligators in the lake.
[Another pause. He bursts out laughing.] Kidding! They cleared those out last year. ....Maybe. Well, I, personally, haven't seen any, buuut.... [He shrugs, even though no one can see it. Or the comical faces he's making. Oh well.]
Anyway! Guess I should introduce myself. I'm Gabriel, one of your caring, compassionate camp counselors [ISN'T ALLITERATION FUN?], and I'm here to make sure your camping experience is the best that it can be. In fact, we're gonna start now. Don't do anything stupid to make me come down there and throw you in the lake, and I'll just... Leave you in the capable hands of some of the sticks in the mud that actually took this job for the life experience. You know who you are.
In the meantime... Ladies? You know where my cabin is. Same place it is every year. Be there. [Can you feel his eyebrow-waggling?
....No. No, we don't know how he keeps getting this job.]
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 07:11 pm (UTC)[THE ANNOYING TIE-DYE SHIRT COMMANDS YOU LISTEN TO IT. ..God, I never realized how appropriate that shirt would actually be for a summer camp flood.]
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 07:15 pm (UTC)But, to answer your question, no. Gross.
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 07:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:30 pm (UTC)Awesome.
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:35 pm (UTC)Yep! Grab a butterfly net and just knock yourself out, kiddo.
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-07-22 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 08:10 pm (UTC)Rule #1: No abusing your counselors. If the alligators come for you, don't blame me for not saving your ass, because I'm too busy being gimpy.
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Date: 2010-07-22 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 08:15 pm (UTC)[Actually, he just... Got thrown into the lake by too many annoyed female counselors and this is the only shirt he has left. SHUT UP, KID. YOU DON'T KNOW HIS LIFE.]
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Date: 2010-07-22 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
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From:ASSUMING'S FINE.
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Date: 2010-07-22 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 08:35 pm (UTC)...'Cause I have and lemme tell you something, that fishy smell never comes out, no matter how many times you make other people do your laundry.
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From:Sexy irish accent response!
Date: 2010-07-22 08:21 pm (UTC)SEE GABRIEL BE ACCENT RACIST.
Date: 2010-07-22 08:36 pm (UTC)Re: SEE GABRIEL BE ACCENT RACIST.
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Date: 2010-07-22 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 08:38 pm (UTC)And now I remember which one Rex is.
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Date: 2010-07-22 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-22 08:39 pm (UTC)[SEE GABRIEL. SEE HIM IGNORE EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID.]
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Date: 2010-07-22 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-23 04:01 am (UTC)There. I just removed the frame on your window of innocence. Wanna join the kid who knows everything about STD's and form a sewing circle of spite?
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Date: 2010-07-22 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-23 03:59 am (UTC)....camper or counselor? I've got a rep here at stake.
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Date: 2010-07-22 09:40 pm (UTC)We're teenagers. Most of us don't believe in monsters, and I find it hard to believe that there are any alligators. Even if there were, they're usually timid toward people, unless they're provoked, or they feel their nest is in danger.
[That's all he has to say.]
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Date: 2010-07-23 03:57 am (UTC)[dramatic pause]
They never found his body.
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Date: 2010-07-22 09:40 pm (UTC)I mean, you kinda rolled your eyes at that part, but I'm pretty sure you remember it?
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Date: 2010-07-23 03:55 am (UTC)[video]
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