029- (Voice) HIS BARGE TROLL CROWN IS BEING COMPROMISED. GTFO.

[uberboned]

Okay! So, uh... What now? Huh? The Admiral's just decided to stop announcing his bad driving? Like we're not gonna notice when this crap goes pearshaped? Seriously? Oh hey! Raise your hand if you think something's gone wrong with the Barge. Oh wait.

And if one more person says it's temporal interference, I will punt them.

Why do I have a feeling this is just gonna somehow end in blood and tears? Oh right. Because it's the Barge. That's how it always ends with this place. Hate to break it to you, newbies, but you just tapped into the Good Ship Unclaimed Baggage. Get out while you can.

Comments

Awwww.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

This doesn't involve you. And before you even attempt to refute that by claiming a connection to him that makes it your business as well, believe me: whatever he has told you, shown you, or otherwise revealed about himself is only a fraction of a fraction of the truth.

There are more forces at play here than you could possibly comprehend.

But if you're inclined to pretend to teach astrophysics when you've never so much as taken a math class, feel free. I'll finish talking to him when you run out of steam.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[FML.]

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to refute it. I don't know you, and I barely know him.

What I comprehend? Is that he doesn't want to talk to you. And I'm still telling you to back off.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Whether he wants to talk to me, or prefers to behave like an overgrown child, isn't something I have the luxury of caring about.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

From what I've seen, he prefers to behave like an overgrown child.

Fortunately he's got plenty of babysitters here, so you can head back to heaven and leave the rest to us.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

He has his moments.

Daycare's not really where he belongs right now. We're taking him home.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

You're taking him nowhere he doesn't want to go.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Is this the part where you say I have to go through you to get to him?

Because I should warn you, our grasp on molecular structure being as nuanced as it is, that's quite literally possible. I can't promise it would be really comfortable for you, however.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

I'm used to the idea of things being able to tear through me without a whole lot of effort.

But yeah. For what it's worth, you will.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Your dramatics are a little lost on me.

I won't waste any more time arguing with you. If you have goodbyes to say to him, you might want to do them now.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

He's not leaving.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Self-delusion won't affect the outcome.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

...Okay.

[This is so dumb this is so dumb this is SO DUMB.] Then take me out, take him home, and stop talking.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Is that what you expect from me? A royal smiting?

It is not your time, Karrin Murphy. When that day does come, I'll be waiting to escort your soul.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

...Right.

...And Gabriel? What about him?

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

I'll try to let him retain enough dignity to come of his own volition, but if he refuses to listen to reason, I've no choice.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

No. NO. Screw that noise. I am not friggin' going back.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

You're gonna sit there and tell me you don't miss Heaven, Gabriel?

I know better.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[SHUT UP, MICHAEL. YOU ASS.]

I miss Heaven the way it was. Y'know, you move some of the furniture around and, oh yeah, throw half the family to Perdition, you kinda don't recognize the place anymore.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

[Look, he has to meet his Being-A-Dick quota for the day, mmk?]

You can't fault us for reacting to the choices they made, Gabriel. They were just that: their choices.

If you'd prefer we throw out all consequence from here on out, I'm sure we'd all be happy to step aside and let you try to handle a world where no prices are paid.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[And Gabriel's getting his Being-a-Snarky-Bitch quota in.]

I told you. We should've just gotten a chore wheel like other families.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

What's done is done, brother. What we can affect is the future.

Being afraid of it accomplishes nothing, but demonstrating a lack of faith.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. You're not dragging me back home. You'll have to take me back over my dead body.

[OH THANK GOD, MICHAEL CAN'T SEE HIM CRINGE.]

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

We can get you another body. [That's the sound of Michael apparently being completely unfazed.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I like this one.