020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

[uberboned]

Okay! So everyone's getting a bit twitchy over this whole 'we're trapped on a boat with a bunch of starving vampires' thing. I get it. We all look like meals on wheels to you bloodsuckers right now, but just remember that people are friends not food. Repeat it to yourself. Cross-stitch it onto a pillow. I bet some of you guys could use the distraction right now. Go ahead. Cross-stitch away. It's a great hobby.

And, for the record, drinking angel blood is like drinking Drain-o. So don't try it... Unless you want to be hungry and convulsing on the floor with killer indigestion. Hah! See what I did there? 'Cause it... Never mind.

[Private to Max, added later.]

I'm coming over. I need to talk to you. And you don't get to say no.

Comments

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[VICTORY... Sad, hollow victory, but victory, nonetheless. Gabriel bridged the gap between them so that they were about a foot part and offered her a hand.] I'm really not good at this. Y'know, just in case you couldn't tell. I'm trying.

[Which was the politer way of saying, "YOU CONFUSE ME AND MAKE MY BRAIN HURT AND I TURNED DOWN RANDOM SEX FOR YOU. WTH."]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max rolled her eyes and gave a smile before placing her palm down in his.] No, you really suck at it. If trying went the distance maybe I'd absolve you of it... but there's stuff to built up and crap. [She teased.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel rolled his eyes.] Fine. [He paused for a moment and then leaned down slightly to kiss her on the lips- just one chaste kiss to see if he could actually get away with it, like somehow getting away with it would be a sign that everything was okay.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max returned the kiss and then pulled back with brows raised.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief and resisted the urge to push his luck further.] Glad that's over. Y'know, McCoy actually asked me what my intentions were last night.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

He wha- [Max furrowed her brows.] Why?

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel snorted.] I dunno. Something about him thinking that I was taking advantage of you, blah, blah... 'Dad's got a shotgun, run for the hills' sorta thing.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max broke into a fit of laughter.] Wow. He must... really not like you. [He probably had no problem with Gabe, but she wanted to give him some angel sized paranoia.] McCoy's a really good guy. Like a brother to me.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Hm. Let's see. Do I ever care what people think of me. Nope. Nothing's comin' to mind. ...You being the exception, of course. [He chuckled.] I promise I won't do anything weird to him. Archangel's honor. [He held up a hand.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Your word is crap. [Max laughed.] If you do ANYTHING to him, I promise you'll be sorry for it.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabe pouted.] After all the begging and pleading I had to do to get you to talk to me? Nuh-uh, sister. I'll be a complete and utter saint, 'cause I ain't goin' through that again.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max nodded stiffly.] Rayne and Selene both contacted me over separate issues. Selene wants me to take her down if she proposes a threat and Rayne... was just being weird.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel considered that.] You need an archangel bodyguard? I got credentials. I'd tell you to check my references, but God's kinda perpetually out to lunch.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

She said to find someone to tag team with... if you're down for it. [Max pushed her hair behind her. She really didn't want to, but if its what it came down to she would.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He spread his arms and sort of half-bowed.] I'm all yours. Figure I might as well start pulling my weight around here.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Well, that takes a load off of MY shoulders. [Max shook her head.] Never a dull moment.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Nope, but at least we never get bored and there's always something to keep us on our toes. I've been slouching the past nine thousand years. 'Bout time I whipped myself into shape.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max eye rolled and hard.] You've been around for however many billion years and you're stuck on me? [That's right she went there.] Daddy must have a sense of humor.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Oh. That was low. I'm not stuck. Fixated, maybe. [He took a step forwards, encouraging her to step back a little, voice low and thoughtful.] Really hot for, yeeeah.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[This is where you learn women function on different wave lengths.] Oh? So I'm just a piece of ass?!

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[SCREECHING HALT.]

What? NO. No. Nooo. That wasn't... 'Course, I don't think that. Not you. You're... You're.... [Insert incoherent vowel sounds as Gabe suddenly realizes AGAIN how bad he sucks at this.]

Re: [NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Then what did you mean by it?! [Arm cross again.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I meant that you're.... [He floundered.] complicated. Look at me, Max? I'm freaking out. What kind of archangel freaks out 'cause a woman called him on bullshit? Huh? That ain't normal.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Oh, that makes me feel much better. [Max just gave him a wary look that turned to a frown and broke eye contact.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel made a frustrated noise and proceeded to take the moment and use it for something that wasn't tearing out his hair.] I like you. Okay? No holds barred, weak-in-the-knees, think-about-you-when-you're-not-here, can't-even-look-at-another-woman-without-seeing-you. Do you get it now? Huh? 'Cause I can't explain it any better than that.