020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

[uberboned]

Okay! So everyone's getting a bit twitchy over this whole 'we're trapped on a boat with a bunch of starving vampires' thing. I get it. We all look like meals on wheels to you bloodsuckers right now, but just remember that people are friends not food. Repeat it to yourself. Cross-stitch it onto a pillow. I bet some of you guys could use the distraction right now. Go ahead. Cross-stitch away. It's a great hobby.

And, for the record, drinking angel blood is like drinking Drain-o. So don't try it... Unless you want to be hungry and convulsing on the floor with killer indigestion. Hah! See what I did there? 'Cause it... Never mind.

[Private to Max, added later.]

I'm coming over. I need to talk to you. And you don't get to say no.

Comments

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Hm. Let's see. Do I ever care what people think of me. Nope. Nothing's comin' to mind. ...You being the exception, of course. [He chuckled.] I promise I won't do anything weird to him. Archangel's honor. [He held up a hand.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Your word is crap. [Max laughed.] If you do ANYTHING to him, I promise you'll be sorry for it.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabe pouted.] After all the begging and pleading I had to do to get you to talk to me? Nuh-uh, sister. I'll be a complete and utter saint, 'cause I ain't goin' through that again.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max nodded stiffly.] Rayne and Selene both contacted me over separate issues. Selene wants me to take her down if she proposes a threat and Rayne... was just being weird.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel considered that.] You need an archangel bodyguard? I got credentials. I'd tell you to check my references, but God's kinda perpetually out to lunch.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

She said to find someone to tag team with... if you're down for it. [Max pushed her hair behind her. She really didn't want to, but if its what it came down to she would.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He spread his arms and sort of half-bowed.] I'm all yours. Figure I might as well start pulling my weight around here.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Well, that takes a load off of MY shoulders. [Max shook her head.] Never a dull moment.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Nope, but at least we never get bored and there's always something to keep us on our toes. I've been slouching the past nine thousand years. 'Bout time I whipped myself into shape.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max eye rolled and hard.] You've been around for however many billion years and you're stuck on me? [That's right she went there.] Daddy must have a sense of humor.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Oh. That was low. I'm not stuck. Fixated, maybe. [He took a step forwards, encouraging her to step back a little, voice low and thoughtful.] Really hot for, yeeeah.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[This is where you learn women function on different wave lengths.] Oh? So I'm just a piece of ass?!

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[SCREECHING HALT.]

What? NO. No. Nooo. That wasn't... 'Course, I don't think that. Not you. You're... You're.... [Insert incoherent vowel sounds as Gabe suddenly realizes AGAIN how bad he sucks at this.]

Re: [NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Then what did you mean by it?! [Arm cross again.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I meant that you're.... [He floundered.] complicated. Look at me, Max? I'm freaking out. What kind of archangel freaks out 'cause a woman called him on bullshit? Huh? That ain't normal.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

Oh, that makes me feel much better. [Max just gave him a wary look that turned to a frown and broke eye contact.]

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel made a frustrated noise and proceeded to take the moment and use it for something that wasn't tearing out his hair.] I like you. Okay? No holds barred, weak-in-the-knees, think-about-you-when-you're-not-here, can't-even-look-at-another-woman-without-seeing-you. Do you get it now? Huh? 'Cause I can't explain it any better than that.

[NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max blanched a bit and then broke into a laugh.] That's the way of nature isn't it? Women can have whoever they want and men get to flounder. [Max crossed the distance between them and whispered in his ear.] Who's the alpha now?

[NINJA!SPAM]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel backed off just slightly, face breaking into a pout.] Can't we just, I dunno.. Share the title? Or I could just do this... [He cupped the side of her face in one hand and kissed her deeply, because... That was probably what you were supposed to do. Don't look at him. He was pretty much an amateur at this whole thing.]

Re: [NINJA!SPAM]

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max kissed him back, because hey- he was a good kisser, and linked her arm between his.]