009- LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS... You know the rest.

[uberboned]

Hey, Barge. Did you hear? It's been quiet. Too quiet.

I just thought you all should know that, 'cause I'm sure if someone doesn't say it every ten seconds, it'll lose its effect or something.

[Private to Irene]

Congratulations, princess! You've won a free lesson in humility! I'm sure you're wondering what that means. Well, I'm gonna tell you, but first I gotta ask you one simple question.

How do you feel about food service?

Please note that your answer will not actually affect my decision.

Comments

I REALLY wanna choose kittens, but I'll go with SPAM

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[Ruby doesn't answer, just lays on her stomach in nothing but her jeans. She expects him in literally two seconds.]

SPAM

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[TWO SECONDS LATER, THERE IS A GABE IN RUBY'S CABIN, because Gabe doesn't believe in doors, as in he doubts their existence. He strolls further into the room, rubbing his hands together.]

You girls make a habit of this and I'm gonna have to pick up a day job at the spa.

SPAM

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[She didn't really expect him to use the door anyway.]

It's your own fault for offering.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He shrugs. Shamelessly.]

I'm not complaining. I just figure if this is gonna be a thing, maybe I should extend my services.

[He sits on the edge of the bed and starts working on her back.]

Unless you and Max have some secret conspiracy to keep me all for yourselves.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[There's a pause. Pretend it's cause he's so awesome.] Nope, no conspiracies here. Max and I...well, we're not exactly talking right now.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[WELL, THAT'S NOT AWKWARD. To ask or not to ask... Yeah. Not asking.] Oh. Sorry.

[HEY. LET'S SEE ABOUT THAT KINK IN YOUR BACK, RUBY. IT'S LOOKING LIKE A PRETTY AWESOME KINK. DAMN THIS IS A GOOD MASSAGE. ....The typist does not apologize for its crack narration, except where she does.]

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[HAHA. Crack narration is the best. And yes it's a good massage, if you can tell from that little noise Ruby just made.]

I'm sure it'll be fine, eventually. I blame port.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Nodding. All the nodding. OH HEY? DID RUBY MENTION SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL TEN SECONDS AGO? GABE DOES NOT RECALL.]

Port's a good thing to blame. If the Admiral's looking for character-building exercises, he's kinda goin' in the wrong direction.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

He just really likes holi- [Sentence interrupted by another of those noises. Enjoy, Gabby.] Holidays. You should've been here for Christmas. Magical mistletoe and everything.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He would enjoy a lot more if HE DIDN'T HAVE TO GO AND FALL IN LOVE. AND NOW IT'S LIKE HE'S BEING TAUNTED. ARGH. STUPID SEXY MAX. But he'll keep it up, because Ruby is his bro and he loffs his bro.]

Heard about that. I think he just likes awkward sexual encounters. The pervert.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[Ruby loffs her bro, too, but hopefully never in the "Sanatra's prophetic" kind of way.]

Least I got angel sex out of it this time. [Said oh so casually.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Always a plus. [Said equally casually. And back to massaging for awhile.] But seriously? There's enough awkward on this ship to fill a single's bar. It kinda harshes a guy's relaxation when everyone's tense. Speaking of tension, holy crap, Rubes.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

That's what suppressing the urge to kill does to me. [Although it's really more like suppressing all those things that make her want to kill in the first place.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I feel you, princess. I'm gonna be up shit creek with no paddle and a river fulla alligators if it takes us half of forever to get another port. I gotta let off some steam and you know that old saying about not shitting where you sleep? You also don't play violent practical jokes where you can't escape.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

Pretty much why I've been trying so hard to stay outta trouble. I don't do so well in any kind of confined space. Being in the slammer for a whole week would just be... [She trails off, but eventually finishes.] Not good.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

We're morally gray and suffering together on the good ship Lollipop. Greatest life ever. Not that I can complain, since I chose this, but my options sucked at the time. [He trails off too, kinda lost in the massage.] So... Y'know. Lower my options and be a Warden or watch the world burn. Great choices there.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[That quiets her a little. She really does feel guilty about her part in the whole thing.] Can I ask you something?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Still massaging.] Shoot.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[And she enjoys that massage. She's just more focused on how to word what she wants to ask.] Misguided loyalty aside, what I did...it's not something most would just brush off. How do you do that?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He stops massaging her back for a moment, clearly perplexed.] How'd I do what? Just up and leave?

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

No. How do you...not hate me?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Oh. [Long pause.] 'Cause I screwed up just as badly? I knew what was happening the whole time and all I did was stick Sammy in a time loop in the hopes that maybe he'd get it through his skull that he was headed down the wrong road. At any point after that, I could have stepped in and said, "Boys, look, this is where you're going." And I didn't do a damn thing. [He exhales.] So the way I figure it, people in glass houses don't need to be hurling rocks.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[She nods, and there's another long pause before she props herself up on her elbows and turns her head to look at him over her shoulder.] Do you think I can be redeemed?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I think love, loyalty, and devotion are three emotions that're way too powerful for their own good and get used in the wrong way, more often than not. But if they can drive you to do something bad, what's keeping them from driving you to something good. [He pats her on the shoulder.] So there's your morality lesson. Don't let anyone tell you that I suck at being a Warden, 'cause bad as I am... I've been around the block a few times.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[She grins at him.] You know I don't listen to anyone when it comes to you, right?