020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

[uberboned]

Okay! So everyone's getting a bit twitchy over this whole 'we're trapped on a boat with a bunch of starving vampires' thing. I get it. We all look like meals on wheels to you bloodsuckers right now, but just remember that people are friends not food. Repeat it to yourself. Cross-stitch it onto a pillow. I bet some of you guys could use the distraction right now. Go ahead. Cross-stitch away. It's a great hobby.

And, for the record, drinking angel blood is like drinking Drain-o. So don't try it... Unless you want to be hungry and convulsing on the floor with killer indigestion. Hah! See what I did there? 'Cause it... Never mind.

[Private to Max, added later.]

I'm coming over. I need to talk to you. And you don't get to say no.

Comments

Gabe secretly loves everyone on the Barge. Really. :|

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Shhh-shh-shhh. I can't lord my superiority over a complacent crowd, Tony.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Too bad about the drain-o thing, though. Donating is fun!

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Apparently, I'm misinformed. I could very well be delicious, nutritious, and taste just like chicken, but no one's sinking their teeth into me.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

You know, you're missing out. The biting? Is just like sex. Seriously.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....No.

Incorrect.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Dude, it totally is! There's penetration and everything!

...but people are donating by putting their blood in bags and giving out the bags, by the way.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

INCORRECT.

Yeah, but I'm not giving the bloodsuckers a taste for it. Demon blood does some wicked crap. I ain't finding out what angel blood does.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Penetration = sex.

Oh. Yeah, good idea.