IC CONTACT POST

[uberboned]

[A woman's voice comes over the line.]

You've reached the Trickster's voicemail. Unfortunately, Mr. Trickster isn't available to take your call, nor will he likely ever be. Should you still wish to leave a message, please respond after the tone, and maybe we'll remember to get it to him, mmkay?

[Beep]

[[OOC: This is an IC voicemail post for all verses games. Please put the name of the verse/game you want in the subject heading.]]

Comments

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer nods. They can't go back. That hurts, it will always hurt, because even drunk he knows when he leaves he will never see Gabriel again. The sudden pain that causes leads him to reach out, hand on Gabriel's cheek. Just for a second, and then he pulls away.]

What's the wildest thing you've done here?

[uberboned]

[Good question. He'd played it cool for the most part- even his tricks were more subdued. He wasn't sure why, beyond the fact that he couldn't rightly do too much in a town that he couldn't leave.] Well. There was this one really skeevy gynecologicist and something that kinda rhymes with 'hakuna matata.' That was a bundle o' laughs.

[thelightbringer]

'Hakuna matata'? [He looks as confused as the wee cub Simba. What the hell are you talking about, Gabriel.]

[uberboned]

[Gabriel shrugs] It means no worries.

[thelightbringer]

[He waves a hand] No, no, what'd you do to him?

[Big brother is too drunk for riddles.]

[uberboned]

Well, now you ruined the joke. [A beat] D'you even know what a vagina dentata is?

[thelightbringer]

[Think, think. It's familiar. Ish.]

Is it something I should tell Sam to teach me?

[uberboned]

.... Go for it. And I want his reaction taped.

[thelightbringer]

[Have a completely horrified, misunderstanding Devil.]

You want to watch him with me? Wouldn't Jinx be jealous?

[uberboned]

....What? No! ....What? How drunk are you right now?

[thelightbringer]

I don't know! [But he's highly suspicious of you, Gabriel, you pervert.]

I wanna ask you something.

[uberboned]

Sure. Just as long as it has nothing to do with Sam.

[thelightbringer]

[Well that throws him off. he blinks.]

Why? What's wrong with Sam?

[uberboned]

Nothing's wrong with Sam. I'm just worried every conversation we have about him right now is gonna somehow turn into The Sam Sexcapades. Seriously. What're you gonna ask?

[thelightbringer]

[Brow furrowing.] He doesn't have sexcapades. He doesn't have that much sex.

[He yanks Gabriel over to lean on so they can start walking again.]

Why is everything about sex with you? Kali, and I know you've got a pornographic moustache....

[uberboned]

I have a healthy libido and that mustache is a priceless heirloom that I'll sell on Ebay one of these days. [If Gabriel were capable of real exhaustion, he might be feeling it now. Instead, he just keeps carrying Lucifer's weight down the street.] Now. Tell me what you were gonna ask me, 'cause let's be honest, bro? You might not get a chance after tonight.

[thelightbringer]

[But typical of drunken minds, Lucifer frowns.] I don't remember. All your talking drowned it. [Yup, totally Gabriel's fault, nothing to do with Lucifer's own rambling.]

Would you let the Winchesters set me on fire if I talked Michael into letting me teach him things?

[uberboned]

Not on their sorry lives. [In a perfect world, Sam and Dean would stay out of his family's affairs and open a ranch in Montana and live a questionably incestuous VC Andrews-esque life.]

[thelightbringer]

I don't believe you. [He says it softly, almost sounding sober for a second there.]

If they think I touch their father's body in nasty wrong places, they'll run amok. And Mary...she'll need to be locked up.

[uberboned]

And I'm tellin' you, bro, I don't care about Casa del Winchester. Period. I washed my hands of getting too caught up in their trainwrecks. [Sorta. Only vaguely.]

[thelightbringer]

You died for them.

[uberboned]

I died for a lot of things. They happened to be on the same boat.

[thelightbringer]

You shouldn't have died at all!

[uberboned]

But I did and I'm okay with it. It was better than watching you and Michael and the rest of the family kill each other. [This conversation sure went south. He'd rather talk about Sam naked.]

[thelightbringer]

I was never going to kill Michael, Gabriel. [He sounds desperate, pleading.] Look at us now! I go home and he plays games. We have pets!

This was what I wanted. Don't you understand?