![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
uberbonedThe Basics
Name: Gabriel. More commonly known as the Trickster.
Age: Older than you.
Sex: Are you offering?
Occupation: Pagan god.
Species: Angel.
Next of kin: The 100,000,000 angels in Heaven right now. And God.
Heaven and Hell
Do you have any previous experience with saving the world? If so, please specify
Well, there was this one time a bunch of angels decided to go around boinking humans and making little half-angel/half-human, flesh-eating abominations, so I killed them.
You're welcome.
Would you be interested in saving the world?
Hm. Not really.
Have you ever ingested demon blood?
Yeah. I'm all over that. I do lines of demon blood at parties all the time.
...No.
Would you be interested in ingesting demon blood?
Maybe if you mixed it into a cocktail.
Have any of your family members ever ingested demon blood?
Well, Dobiel's pretty into the heavy drugs...
Are you currently possessed by a demon?
If I am, I'm sure they're not pleased with their life right now.
Have you ever been possessed by a demon? If so, when?
Nein.
Would you or have you ever had sexual relations with a demon?
Why not? I'm an equal opportunity angel.
Are you currently residing in or around the area of hell?
I sometimes go there on the weekends. Hitler makes a mean margarita.
Have you ever sold your soul to the devil?
I don't have a soul.
Would you be interested in selling your soul to the devil?
Only in the "beachfront property in Arizona" sort of way.
Do you believe in God?
Only because He's my dad and it's kinda hard to doubt the existence of your own father.
Are you a nun or a priest?
No. I just... Have this bad habit of making them cry.
Are you otherwise a person of religion?
I'm a creature of religious mythology.
Are you an Angel?
Part-time.
Have you ever invited an angel into your body?
That would be kinda redundant and little bit too Italian for me.
Do you actually believe anything that comes out of an angel's mouth?
Only when it's my mouth.
THIS.IS.SPARTAAA!
Do you have any experience with killing monsters ? (World of Warcraft doesn't count)
Do you count assholes as monsters?
Have you ever seriously injured a monster?
Yep.
Have you ever killed a human being?
They had it coming.
Have you ever tortured a human being?
... It was part of a learning experience.
Do you have any special powers? If so, please specify
I make reality my little bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain tolerance?
It goes to eleven.
Can you ...
shoot a gun?
Why would I need to?
wield a sword?
Probably.
wield an ax?
Sure. Why not?
handle a bow and arrows?
Do I look like Kevin Costner to you?
work a spear?
Do I get a magic helmet?
break someone's face with your hand?
Hells yeah.
use any other weapons in combat?
I'm a weapon. Of God.
Have you ever punched a werewolf in the face?
He called my mother a whore. It was a kneejerk response and I kinda felt bad later, because oh right! I don't even have a mom.
Have you ever suffered from any serious injuries?
I get stabbed in the chest a lot. THANKS, ASSHOLES.
Do you have any experience in jerry-rigged first aid?
Does popping your broken leg back into place and leaving you to the people who actually care count?
Have you died before? If so, how many times?
No. I'm not a Winchester.
It's all about YOU!
Do you feel the pathological need to make everything about you no matter what?
You mean, it's not?
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?
I'm sure I'd be diagnosed with several if I ever tried to spend time in a psych ward. They'd be wrong.
Do you have anger management issues?
Only when someone really pisses me off.
Do you believe in freedom, beauty, truth, and the power of love?
I never saw Moulin Rouge.
Do you like 80's rock?
The 80's can BITE ME.
Have you ever engaged in inter- or outercourse with an animal? If so, list species.
Well, when people keep trying to offer you virgins AND goats, a guy can get a little confused...
Are you currently on drugs?
I'm sure the people reading this think I am.
Do you have an alcohol problem?
I wouldn't call it a problem.
Do you have any prior arrests? If so, what for?
It's really hard to arrest an angel, bucko.
Have you done any actual time? If so, what for?
I've manipulated time. Does that count?
Would you consider yourself to be a loyal person?
Is family important to you?
Would you die for your loved ones or is your own survival more important?
In order to save the world, are you okay with putting your life in serious danger, watching your friends die and/or die a horrible death yourself ? And this without being paid a single dollar for your efforts?
THOSE QUESTIONS NEVER EXISTED. AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING.
It's time for some MULTIPLE CHOICE questions!
Real vampires should :
a) be staked and/or burned and/or beheaded.
b) get the same rights as human beings.
c)sparkle and stalk underage girls.
d) other. (please specify below)
Do you think the Apocalypse is:
a) bad
b) a really good time
c) a chance to visit old relatives in hell
d)other. (please specify below)
Worst family reunion EVER.
If a girl you don't know approaches you and offers you a deal with the devil, you... :
a) take it.
b) kill her on general principle.
c)forget the deal and fuck her, providing she is hot.
d) other. (please specify below)
Casper is haunting you. What do you need to get rid of the sucker?
a) a good therapist. GHOSTS AREN'T REAL, YOU GUYS!
b) salt and fire.
C) a bazooka.
d)other. (please specify below)
Find a way to make it really annoying for the Winchesters on general principle.
You are confronted with a monster you don't know anything about. You...
a) shoot first, ask questions later.
b) run like hell.
c) preferably postpone the fight until you know more about what you're facing.
d)other. (please specify below)
I know everything about everything.
And last but not least...
If your friend was turned into a unicorn, hypothetically, what would you do to save them?
I was probably the guy who turned them into a unicorn, in the first place.
...For their own good.
Name: Gabriel. More commonly known as the Trickster.
Age: Older than you.
Sex: Are you offering?
Occupation: Pagan god.
Species: Angel.
Next of kin: The 100,000,000 angels in Heaven right now. And God.
Heaven and Hell
Do you have any previous experience with saving the world? If so, please specify
Well, there was this one time a bunch of angels decided to go around boinking humans and making little half-angel/half-human, flesh-eating abominations, so I killed them.
You're welcome.
Would you be interested in saving the world?
Hm. Not really.
Have you ever ingested demon blood?
Yeah. I'm all over that. I do lines of demon blood at parties all the time.
...No.
Would you be interested in ingesting demon blood?
Maybe if you mixed it into a cocktail.
Have any of your family members ever ingested demon blood?
Well, Dobiel's pretty into the heavy drugs...
Are you currently possessed by a demon?
If I am, I'm sure they're not pleased with their life right now.
Have you ever been possessed by a demon? If so, when?
Nein.
Would you or have you ever had sexual relations with a demon?
Why not? I'm an equal opportunity angel.
Are you currently residing in or around the area of hell?
I sometimes go there on the weekends. Hitler makes a mean margarita.
Have you ever sold your soul to the devil?
I don't have a soul.
Would you be interested in selling your soul to the devil?
Only in the "beachfront property in Arizona" sort of way.
Do you believe in God?
Only because He's my dad and it's kinda hard to doubt the existence of your own father.
Are you a nun or a priest?
No. I just... Have this bad habit of making them cry.
Are you otherwise a person of religion?
I'm a creature of religious mythology.
Are you an Angel?
Part-time.
Have you ever invited an angel into your body?
That would be kinda redundant and little bit too Italian for me.
Do you actually believe anything that comes out of an angel's mouth?
Only when it's my mouth.
THIS.IS.SPARTAAA!
Do you have any experience with killing monsters ? (World of Warcraft doesn't count)
Do you count assholes as monsters?
Have you ever seriously injured a monster?
Yep.
Have you ever killed a human being?
They had it coming.
Have you ever tortured a human being?
... It was part of a learning experience.
Do you have any special powers? If so, please specify
I make reality my little bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain tolerance?
It goes to eleven.
Can you ...
shoot a gun?
Why would I need to?
wield a sword?
Probably.
wield an ax?
Sure. Why not?
handle a bow and arrows?
Do I look like Kevin Costner to you?
work a spear?
Do I get a magic helmet?
break someone's face with your hand?
Hells yeah.
use any other weapons in combat?
I'm a weapon. Of God.
Have you ever punched a werewolf in the face?
He called my mother a whore. It was a kneejerk response and I kinda felt bad later, because oh right! I don't even have a mom.
Have you ever suffered from any serious injuries?
I get stabbed in the chest a lot. THANKS, ASSHOLES.
Do you have any experience in jerry-rigged first aid?
Does popping your broken leg back into place and leaving you to the people who actually care count?
Have you died before? If so, how many times?
No. I'm not a Winchester.
It's all about YOU!
Do you feel the pathological need to make everything about you no matter what?
You mean, it's not?
Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?
I'm sure I'd be diagnosed with several if I ever tried to spend time in a psych ward. They'd be wrong.
Do you have anger management issues?
Only when someone really pisses me off.
Do you believe in freedom, beauty, truth, and the power of love?
I never saw Moulin Rouge.
Do you like 80's rock?
The 80's can BITE ME.
Have you ever engaged in inter- or outercourse with an animal? If so, list species.
Well, when people keep trying to offer you virgins AND goats, a guy can get a little confused...
Are you currently on drugs?
I'm sure the people reading this think I am.
Do you have an alcohol problem?
I wouldn't call it a problem.
Do you have any prior arrests? If so, what for?
It's really hard to arrest an angel, bucko.
Have you done any actual time? If so, what for?
I've manipulated time. Does that count?
Is family important to you?
Would you die for your loved ones or is your own survival more important?
In order to save the world, are you okay with putting your life in serious danger, watching your friends die and/or die a horrible death yourself ? And this without being paid a single dollar for your efforts?
THOSE QUESTIONS NEVER EXISTED. AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING.
It's time for some MULTIPLE CHOICE questions!
Real vampires should :
a) be staked and/or burned and/or beheaded.
b) get the same rights as human beings.
c)sparkle and stalk underage girls.
d) other. (please specify below)
Do you think the Apocalypse is:
a) bad
b) a really good time
c) a chance to visit old relatives in hell
d)other. (please specify below)
Worst family reunion EVER.
If a girl you don't know approaches you and offers you a deal with the devil, you... :
a) take it.
b) kill her on general principle.
c)forget the deal and fuck her, providing she is hot.
d) other. (please specify below)
Casper is haunting you. What do you need to get rid of the sucker?
a) a good therapist. GHOSTS AREN'T REAL, YOU GUYS!
b) salt and fire.
C) a bazooka.
d)other. (please specify below)
Find a way to make it really annoying for the Winchesters on general principle.
You are confronted with a monster you don't know anything about. You...
a) shoot first, ask questions later.
b) run like hell.
c) preferably postpone the fight until you know more about what you're facing.
d)other. (please specify below)
I know everything about everything.
And last but not least...
If your friend was turned into a unicorn, hypothetically, what would you do to save them?
I was probably the guy who turned them into a unicorn, in the first place.
...For their own good.
