020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

[uberboned]

Okay! So everyone's getting a bit twitchy over this whole 'we're trapped on a boat with a bunch of starving vampires' thing. I get it. We all look like meals on wheels to you bloodsuckers right now, but just remember that people are friends not food. Repeat it to yourself. Cross-stitch it onto a pillow. I bet some of you guys could use the distraction right now. Go ahead. Cross-stitch away. It's a great hobby.

And, for the record, drinking angel blood is like drinking Drain-o. So don't try it... Unless you want to be hungry and convulsing on the floor with killer indigestion. Hah! See what I did there? 'Cause it... Never mind.

[Private to Max, added later.]

I'm coming over. I need to talk to you. And you don't get to say no.

Comments

[private] delightfully drawn out.

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[vampish_aleera]

You speak falsely.

It was most satisfying, when last I consumed it...

[subtlescience]

By all means, please continue antagonizing the hungry predators.

Private

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

I'm going stir crazy. You're taking me out. [Notice it's not a suggestion.]

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

Antagonising them isn't going to help.

I do recommend cross-stitch, though. Vampires in my world get very... into their hobbies.

[amagicalmystery.livejournal.com]

You having fun teasin' the things with teeth? It'll bite you same as the rest of us, no pun.

[thoughtful pause]

Any of them even Warden enough to restrain themselves?

[fuckwisconsin.livejournal.com]

Hey, I totally thought it'd be like Drain-o, too. It only makes sense. But no. Apparently not. How long can you bleed for? I think I can bleed for a while, no problem, but it's not like I ever tried.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

I think everyone's been handling this pretty well, actually.

[deathmerciful.livejournal.com]

There are some of us to which holy relics hold no power. You are cruel to taunt us in such a way when we are only victims of our nature.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

Not offering yourself up as a blood sack, Gabby? How uncharitable of you.

[sonotahunter.livejournal.com]

Is the consistency of your blood a result of dietary deficiency or pure abnormality?