008: FORCED OUT OF THE ANGEL CLOSET. THANKS, ADMIRAL.

[uberboned]

[SO GABE'S A LITTLE ANNOYED, considering, you know, the Admiral revealed his ~~secret identity~~ and all that and Max is pissed at him. So here, Barge, have a grumpy archangel, officially coming out of the angel closet.]

OKAY. I GET IT. For the five people who didn't pay attention to the Admiral's announcement, yes, I'm actually Gabriel. Yep. That one. If the halo fits and all that. And y'know, there was a perfectly good reason for the deception, 'cause I don't like going around telling people I'm an archangel. It's a personal thing and not a "let's play a massive joke on the Barge to see if they'll buy it" thing. Okay? Okay.

And before I get a hundred questions about the same damn thing, lemme clear some stuff up for you guys.

1. Yes, I have wings. My vessel, unfortunately, does not, so no you can't see them, unless you're not that fond of your eyes. 

2. I have never, in my entire billions of years in existence, had Shirley temple curls. Okay?

3. The Virgin Mary has a wicked right cross. True story.

4. No, you don't get to know why I'm pretending to be a Trickster. That information's on a need to know basis, and, look at that! You people don't need to know.

Hope that clears everything up. 

Comments

strikes are unreadable.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

why would you prete

this is ridic

this cannot be quite

you're not an ange

False identities are false identities around here, but a pagan god... a false god? That is just offensive. You probably know that, and don't care, but it needed to be said.

I don't even know

SORRY YOUR WORLDVIEW IS SHATTERED, HOWIE.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

In my defense, I needed a really good hiding place at the time.

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

If it reassures you any, he did have good reason in my understanding of it. Their world is... very different.

HAVE AN ATHEIST

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

Liar.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Okay! I'm lying. I'm actually three ducks in a man suit, pretending to be an angel, pretending to be a pagan god.

[future-games.livejournal.com]

...Then what the hell are you doing here?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale's here. No one's questioning his presence. What? Higher tier angels can't save souls?

[youdaman.livejournal.com]

[Max is still very irritated with you and would SO LIKE TO KICK YOUR BUTT... but is unfortunately otherwise preoccupied being emo and denying your existence. Wings? I'll tell you where you can stick those damn things.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[VENGEANCE IS COMING, MAX. VENGEANCE IS COMING. :|]

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

BOLLOCKS!

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Is that gonna be your answer to everything I say from here on out?

Voice

[fireintothesky.livejournal.com]

[There's a click, a long silence, then a nervous squeak and a flail before it clicks off.]

Voice

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what Mary said. Before she punched me in the jaw.

[uowemeascream.livejournal.com]

[WATCH PREACHER DADDY ISSUES COME INTO PLAY]

... Yeah? So?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Just trying to clear the air here, fella.

[theoriginalbamf.livejournal.com]

YOU CANNOT FOOL ME, POSSIBLY A ROBOT SUPER TRICKSTER.

[fireintothesky.livejournal.com]

...Angels are robots?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[LONG. THOUGHTFUL. PAUSE.]

Still my favorite reaction to this whole clusterfuck.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

Sorry you had to do this.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Eh. I figured it I was gonna have to do it, sooner or later. Sam, Dean, and Alastair would've held it over my head forever and one of 'em would've spilt the beans, eventually. Just as long as I don't have to play Twenty Questions about the Apocalypse, I'll deal.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Can you sing?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Nope! Completely tone-deaf.

[acid_rayne]

Dude... It's seriously not a big deal. You were already here, once.

Albeit, as an inmate and looking a little more androgynous...

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

You had one what?

[WAIT FOR IT. WAIT FOR IT.]

...Oh c'mon.

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. I'm terribly sorry about that.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Eh. I'm over it. Honestly, I expected blackmail before that, but that's what I get for underestimating our Sovereign Leader.