001 (Voice)

[uberboned]

[While the Winchesters are away, the Tricksters will play, apparently. THE BARGE HAS TIMING. :| Hope your ears love the sultry sound of loud-mouthed demigods/archangels with slight southern drawls, residents of the Barge, because that's what you're getting. And there is nothing in the tone of this that does not scream SNARK.]

GOOD MORNIN', VIET-NAM.

Or afternoon. Or, for all I know, half-past midnight. I don't believe in clocks. Anyway. 

Hi! I'm the newest sherrif on this Love Boat. One of you lucky sons of bitches will eventually be mine to mold into whatever amounts to a productive, functional member of society. Lucky you! For the rest of you, juuust get used to the sound of this voice, kids, 'cause you're gonna be hearing a lot of it. 

I could go on, tell you all a few things about me, and we can all have a nice, little sharing circle, buuuut I'm not that kinda guy. Sorry. A man's gotta have a little mystery about him. In this case, a lot. 

But, hey, I'm here for all you losers. That's the deal I made and I live up to my deals. Think of me as your own personal pagan deity. So if you really need and/or want me, look me up sometime. It's Trickster, comma, the. Thank you and good night. 

Comments

[wichita-kansas.livejournal.com]

We already have one of those.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

So... What, exactly? There's a "one pagan god only" rule on this boat and I just skipped that part in the brochure?

[wichita-kansas.livejournal.com]

I dunno what the rule is -- I'm just a tiny, powerless human. You might want to ask the other big, bad trickster aboard.

A girl can ask for a little variety, right?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Okay, lemme get this straight. You're assuming that every trickster's the same here, right?

That's so racist. I don't go, "Gee. Another mortal. Couldn't we get a centaur or something? Put some spice in this melting pot."

you're welcomed to hurt her, gabe!

[wichita-kansas.livejournal.com]

Hey, you have plenty of time to show off how edgy and in your face you are, but if first impression's any indication, you're not adding any spice to this fucked up fondue.

WHY WOULD HE DO A THING LIKE THAT? :| HE'S A RESPECTABLE WARDEN. REALLY.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[There's an audible snap on this side of the line.]

I'd be careful where you step in your cabin, princess.

YOU'RE SUCH A NIIIIIICE GUUUUUYYYY!

[wichita-kansas.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck!

HE REALLY IS. BUT YOU INSULTED THE MOJO.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. It's not poisonous. ...I don't think.

[Thoughtful pause.]

Y'know, this is why we don't punch a guy in the mojo, sweetheart.

I've got a free minute, and seeing as it's public and all...

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

You're stealing my best line.

Gabe's a dirty quote-stealing hor.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Is calling someone out on racism patented now?

At least he's pretty. And blackmailable.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

Of course not. Just thought I was the only one who voiced it that way when it comes to the supernatural.

He chooses to focus on the pretty. For obvious reasons.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Maybe you started a movement. You're like Rosa Parks, but with way more street cred.

[Because he can totally tell she has street cred by the sound of her voice. Or he's just being an ass. It's hard to tell with Gabe.]

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[Ruby votes ass.]

So you're a trickster. You don't happen to have a thing for time loops, do you?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[That's the popular vote.]

When it fits the circumstance. Why?

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

I know someone who got stuck in one once.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

...And by some freak coincidence, you think I'm responsible for every time loop ever or is this suspicion actually goin' somewhere specific?

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

There was a trickster involved. I was just wondering if that trickster was you. Know any freakishly tall men more racist than most?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Hm. Does he have a freakish Cro-Magnon skull, share a last name with a popular firearm manufacturer, and have an older brother he's uncomfortably attached to?

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

So someone else sees it. Glad I'm not the only one.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....There are actually people who don't? C'mon. You'd have to blind, deaf, and a moron to not see the levels of dysfunction there.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

Dysfunction is a hunter's paradise. The barge isn't much better.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Lucky me. I thrive in dysfunction. And where there are egos to topple, I'm the one tipping over the dominoes.

I think me and this place are gonna get along swell.

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

So there's a method to the madness. I can respect that.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I think the Admiral woulda had me clapped in irons if I tried to cut a deal and there wasn't.

So. My mutual friend in Winchester-periphery, which by the way ain't the best place to be on a good day and I'm sure you know that, what am I supposed to call you?

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[Ruby questions if she should give a fake name. She'll be found out soon enough, but maybe it's worth it...]

Kristy.

[It's not lying. He didn't ask for a name, just something to call her.]