007: THE TIME OF THE GREAT ASSIGNING IS AT HAND... Or Gabe suddenly hates everything.

[uberboned]

Oh. Hah hah hah. Very funny, Admiral. You're a real barrel of laughs. 

IRENE ADLER. Guess who gets to be your Warden? Yep. It's me, precious, and don't pretend for a second that this is gonna be some kind of pleasure cruise, 'cause it ain't. And since we already know each other, how 'bout I give you a twenty minute warning before I come down there to discuss this file I'm holding in my hands right now. 

Time starts... Now. 

Comments

Irene: "SKLJkjv;klsjdfgweoj!"

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

I know I've done some - shall we say 'controversial'? - things in my time, but this is just cruel.

I don't think I have much of anything to discuss with you that can't wait until a later, more decent time. Say, the apocalypse.

SPAM? ....As Gabe has no need of WALKING. :|

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Yeah. This is a file full of "controversial."

What a coincidence. Where I'm from, the Apocalypse is going strong. Guess you're stuck with dealing with me.

I'll be there in ten seconds.

YES PLZ. ... goddamned angelic beings.

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

If you insist.

MWAHAHAHAHA

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[WHEN HE SAID TEN SECONDS HE WAS NOT KIDDING, IRENE. THERE IS A KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR NOT EVEN TEN SECONDS AFTER YOU POSTED THAT RESPONSE, LIKE OH MY GOD.]

Re: MWAHAHAHAHA

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

[Irene called from in the room, because she's not getting up for that bastard. F U GABE]

It's open.

Re: MWAHAHAHAHA

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabe opened the door, nose stuck in the file, and strolled in.]

Okay. So we have kidnapping, extortion, theft, attempted assassination, put something on so I can pretend like you have shame, a sort-of murder... Wow, Admiral. You picked me out a winner.

[Two things should be noted: The fact that Gabe's voice never changed through that whole speech and the fact that he never once looked up.]

Re: MWAHAHAHAHA

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

[Irene was wearing a silken kimono-style wrap which while not exactly conservative, covered a fair portion of her body. She was bare-footed and lounging on her bed, an open book on the bed-spread before her. Though she had looked up when Gabe entered, her eyes had cooly returned to her book.]

I have nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, it's not like you gave me much warning. Ten seconds, I believe it was? You're lucky I'm wearing clothing at all.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Point. That was mostly just to point out that if this goes off? [He waved his Warden item, which looked, at this angle at least, to be nothing more than a rolled up black and white magazine.] I can be where you are before you have time to do much of anything.

[He flopped down on the nearest flat surface and rifled through the notes.] Well, you're not the biggest psycho on the Barge, so points for you. This is gonna be a cake walk for me. I've reformed badder criminals than you in my day.

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

[She looked at the magazine. Her tone held a fair amount of venom] Delightful.

[Irene sat up, her legs curled beneath her. Her voice was soft] Oh, I don't know. I can be rather terrible. What are you going to do - punish me? [She smirked]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He waved the magazine at her.] One. Don't seduce the Warden. That crap might've worked when I was on Kissing Town mojo, but I do have self-control. I do. Two. Yes, I will. And you will hate my brand of punishment, sister.

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

[Irene fell back into her cushions] You just keep telling yourself that, slick. And as for your punishment, I really don't see that you can do anything to me. Empty threats don't frighten me, Gabriel. Now, if you're done - ? [She waved a hand at the door]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Yeah, the fucking Admiral had to announce his name over the damn announcements, didn't he? That blew the whole 'pretending to be a god thing out of the water.' He really, really hoped that no one else noticed or called him on it, even if he knew he had to come out of the angel closet eventually.]

Empty? [He arched a brow.] Look at the name, precious. I'm the scariest thing on this Barge. Don't presume any threat I make is empty. I don't even have to ask the Admiral to screw with you. How's it gonna feel when anything you try to steal burns your fingers on contact? Or just winds up right back in its original place whenever you leave with it? Or... I dunno. Triggers a huge alarm that alerts half the Barge to what you're doing.

[He crossed his legs and leaned back.] I can do a lot of things, Adler. Trust me.

[always-thewoman.livejournal.com]

[Irene paled a touch at his description, but the more he went on talking, the more her face hardened. Her voice held a sharp undercurrent] You think you're so smart, but you know nothing about me other than what's in that little file of yours. I haven't been through hell and back, but I've come pretty damned close. So forgive me, but unless you're planning to toss me straight into the fiery furnace, I'll save my fear for something more deserving.

[She stood] And what about you, then? You are far from perfect, from what I can tell. After all, you're here with the rest of us mere mortals. Separated from divine grace. Fallen, one might even say? I don't know, you tell me. I mean, after all, you have my file. I should have the right to know who the hell you think you are.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[IRENE, YOU DONE HIT THE BUTTON YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HIT.

He stood up, voice going from casual to a deadly sort of calm.]

You listen to me, you arrogant bitch. I got a good reason for being here. Annnd I don't owe you crap. I'm the one who asked to be here. You're the one stuck here. So shape up or this is gonna start getting ugly.

[He snapped once and was gone, lest he lose his temper and someone wind up in the wall. YEAH, THAT SENDS A WONDERFUL MESSAGE. HI, I JUST MET MY INMATE AND SHE HIT MY HOT BUTTON SO I KILLED HER. SORRY.]

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

...bollocks.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Took the words outta my mouth. Except less Scottish.

[beam-me.livejournal.com]

Be nice to the lady, you incorrigible ponce.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'll be nice to her if she's nice to me. It goes both ways, pal.

Private // Voice - Guess who else is a little pissed?

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

I can't believe he- [The rest of that was supposed to be "used your real name." However, you'd think Ruby had been replaced with some type of big cat, as the only thing heard is a low growl. We know where her loyalty lies, don't we?]

Private // Voice

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Apparently, angel wardens who lie about their identities get the shaft. I'm in the dog house here. Big time.

[AUDIBLE FACEPALM OF ANNOYANCE.]

Private // Voice

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

[Random noises, which are attempts to speak. Then back to the growling. This is what happens when she's having anger issues, cause she knows better than to kill anybody.]

Private // Voice

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Rubes.

...Wait. Scratch that. Don't do anything someone who actually has restraint and a good moral backbone wouldn't do.

Private // Voice

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

I don't know about that, but I think I can keep myself from killing my neighbors. I just...need to paint a really bloody mural on my wall.

Private // Voice

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Just don't sacrifice any small animals or anything.

Private // Voice

[yousethimfree.livejournal.com]

I've thought about it before.

But it's just not a smart thing to do when I know my warden would probably be alerted.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

I do like your style, but Gabriel is a rubbish name for a 'trickster god'.

*INSERT HEADWALLING HERE*

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Nope, but it's a pretty good name for an archangel.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

...Trickster god was more believable in my mind, but there you go.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I get that a lot.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

I more meant in general. Angels are quite a Roundworld concept.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

...

So you're Gabriel?

can't we have more like Aziraphale? You know. Sane angels.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Yep. Guilty.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I am afraid to ask but the Gabriel?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

"Be not afraid, Mary?" Guy with the horn? Angel of annunciation, resurrection, mercy, vengeance, death, and revelation? Prince of justice?

That Gabriel?

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

That would be the one, yes.

Right.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Yep! You're talking to him.

PRIVATE

[theoriginalbamf.livejournal.com]

Even though I have Dean Winchester's file open here, and ...Dr. Sexy? Really?... I'm rejecting this reality and substituting my own. You are not, in fact, the Archangel Gabriel, but some sort of SUPER Trickster masquerading as Gabriel who is masquerading as a Trickster. I will blame Magneto. And an as of yet unnamed robot.

WELL PLAYED, SIR.

PRIVATE// THERE IS A LONG SILENCE, 'CAUSE GABE'S NOT SURE WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

...Good plan!

THIS THREAD JACK MEANS NOTHING AND DOESN'T EXIST BUT ARGH.

[possemagnet.livejournal.com]

[IF I knew my warden was trying to get all buddy buddy with my arch nemesis who's NOT REALLY my arch nemesis, because I like him and dig his style, but something solid I can blame my shit on regardless I would be SO PISSED RIGHT NOW, MK?]