029- (Voice) HIS BARGE TROLL CROWN IS BEING COMPROMISED. GTFO.

[uberboned]

Okay! So, uh... What now? Huh? The Admiral's just decided to stop announcing his bad driving? Like we're not gonna notice when this crap goes pearshaped? Seriously? Oh hey! Raise your hand if you think something's gone wrong with the Barge. Oh wait.

And if one more person says it's temporal interference, I will punt them.

Why do I have a feeling this is just gonna somehow end in blood and tears? Oh right. Because it's the Barge. That's how it always ends with this place. Hate to break it to you, newbies, but you just tapped into the Good Ship Unclaimed Baggage. Get out while you can.

Comments

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

Take a breath. Nothing's happened yet beyond the network broadcasting a lot of noise.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

When the whole network collapses on itself and we wind up back in the Stone Age? I'll remember you said that. C'mon, Murph. I'm just being realistic here. Nothing happens on the Barge unless it's annoying or traumatizing. I've been here long enough to know that, at least.

[omigoduguys.livejournal.com]

Temporal interference is a little too trek wars for me.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Next they'll be telling us to reverse the polarity on the whole damn Barge.

O why not.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

"While you can"?

You've really honed that knack for the dramatic.

1/ I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A SURPRISE.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

2/ WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

3/3 I GOT BORED.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

What's that? Can't hear you. I think you're breaking up.

[OVER-EXAGGERATED STATICY NOISES.]

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

There's no need to be so negative.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic.

[blacks-lackey.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you should take a deep breath and remember the voices can't hurt you.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Your mother never told you not to talk to strangers, huh?

[featherylilass.livejournal.com]

You complain too loud.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[jkasldkajdad]

Okay. Why does my episode of "This Is Your Life" have valley girls?

brought to you by the garrison and net books. (voice)

[doctorxbadass.livejournal.com]

[The vague sound of a laptop powering up.] Barge, Admiral, Temporal interference?

What the-

Maybe this things on the wrong frequency, Pamela!

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Oh great. We have another contender for the "Biggest Wrong Number Ever" award.

[visionsandvodka.livejournal.com]

Hey man I already have you guys in my head! I don't need you all in my friggin' computer too. That's my special place. Buzz off!

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Oh great. The Prophet's here. Now it's a party.

[missannamilton.livejournal.com]

That voice is completely unmistakable.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....


Anna?

had to do it.

[alcoholit.livejournal.com]

...Just because I'm a better troll than you.

...omg yay.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Okay.

One: No, you're not.

Two: ...Who are you in the grand scheme of things?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Who are you? The walking fortune cookie.

Yep. That pretty much covers it.

[melodiousyellow.livejournal.com]

Did you say temporal interference?

[A longer than normal pause, then:]

BRIDGE!

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[That sound? That is the sound of one archangel facepalming.

And then, muttered.]

Ground control to Major Tom...

[theboxsaysno.livejournal.com]

Unclaimed baggage, you say? It seems Zoidberg's luck is turning!

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

......

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

[guiltapalooza]

I was more going for 'interdimensional bleed'. That won't get me punted, will it?

And I was kinda wondering if maybe I should stay.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'll accept that.

Oh sure. It's a regular party boat here, if you like this sorta thing all the damn time.

[on-cosmic-stage.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wouldn't give temporal interference all the credit. Very little credit, in fact, given a static point in the timelines of several adjacent realities. I'd call it more of a dimensional ruckus. A décalage de perception, if you will.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what you just said, but... Don't say it again. Okay?

[nashrath.livejournal.com]

But it's so damn entertaining.

Oooo, what's going on? Oh no, it's my long-lost sister/aunt! Angst angst angst! I'm going to talk about my complicated interpersonal issues out where everyone and their dog can read them!

No, really, stick around, I'm selling reads of you guys for six silver a pop. You're like a soap opera with people that think they're aliens.