uberboned | 020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

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020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

Okay! So everyone's getting a bit twitchy over this whole 'we're trapped on a boat with a bunch of starving vampires' thing. I get it. We all look like meals on wheels to you bloodsuckers right now, but just remember that people are friends not food. Repeat it to yourself. Cross-stitch it onto a pillow. I bet some of you guys could use the distraction right now. Go ahead. Cross-stitch away. It's a great hobby.

And, for the record, drinking angel blood is like drinking Drain-o. So don't try it... Unless you want to be hungry and convulsing on the floor with killer indigestion. Hah! See what I did there? 'Cause it... Never mind.

[Private to Max, added later.]

I'm coming over. I need to talk to you. And you don't get to say no.

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[He squeezed her shoulders a little harder.] Don't worry about it. If any vampire shows up looking for a little exotic cuisine, I'll bounce 'em back to the coffin they crawled out of. Sound good?

[And now is the part where Ruby gets cheesy. She wrapped her arms around him as well as she could while still walking. I WILL GET HER A HUG ICON ONE DAY, I SWEAR.] I love you. And I mean it this time.

What? You didn't mean it the last few times? I'm hurt. [He laughed.] You're one in a million, Rubes.

I know. And I said you were awesome, not that I loved you. There's a difference.

Tomato, Tomahto. It's all shameless adoration to me. [Of course, he was teasing.] So. Interesting fact: I have never actually been in the CES.

Really? I like it. It's nice and open. [Notice the very so slight airy kind of bliss to the word ~open~. Catching on to her super secret phobia yet?]

[NO. NOT REALLY. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT SOME WARNING SIGNS. AND SOME ORANGE CONES DOWN.]

Well, I spend a lot of time in my room, just... Making commentary on the mass hysteria that surrounds me. Not a lot of time to just wander aimlessly about in the wide world of faux outdoors.

[GOOD IDEA. LET'S HOPE BUZZ LIGHTYEAR DOESN'T RUN OFF WITH THEM.]

And you say I should get out more. [Because directing attention away from her problem makes everything better.]

Well, look. We're killing two birds with one stone. I'm getting out, you're getting out, and no one is getting eaten by vampires.

[Gabriel stopped in front of the door to the CES and waved Ruby inside.] Your open air paradise, whatever it may be, awaits.

[Ruby's arms tighten around him as they moved forward, as if to say, "AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE FUCKIN' GOIN' ANYWHERE JUST BECAUSE IT'S A VAMP-FREE ZONE."

The scene was...well, green. Wide stretches of green and a tree or bush here and there. Hasn't St. Patrick's Day past already? It must've thrown up before it left.]

[Gabe whistled.] Wow. I'm just waiting for Julie Andrews to come running up and start dancing.

[Ruby laughed. Or...maybe it was a giggle. WHUT?] Or we could just walk.

Walking. Much better than waiting for the inevitable musical numbers. [Don't worry, Ruby. He knows he's funny. He won't poke fun of the giggling.]

[THE HIIIIIILLS ARE ALIIIIIIVE...

Anyway. They're walking. And talking. But not singing.] How's that inmate of yours? What's her name?

Irene. I'm... Kinda the most lax Warden ever, buuut I'd know if she was getting into anything. I think.

[LIES. SHE IS CURRENTLY UP TO MISCHIEF WITH BELA TALBOT AND HE KNOWS NOOOOTHING. Gabe= total failure as a Warden.]

[But only with his own inmate. He does pretty damn well with his demon.]

Let's hope you think better with your inmate than you do with secret birthday sex I never got. Unless you count the hooker. Are we counting the hooker?

We are so counting the hooker.

[IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HE HAD TO GO AND GET ALL GAGA OVER MAX. Freakin' catgirls and their freakin'.... Stuffness.]

Irene and I have a close, personal relationship. I pretend she doesn't exist and she doesn't do anything to piss me off and somehow she learns a lesson. I'm sure I could write books on this school of Wardening.

[Her gut twisted a little. Suddenly the phrase "like father, like son" was a bit too close for comfort. It wasn't too bad, though. She couldn't have expected him to be totally unlike his dad. Hell, she had a few things in common with Lucifer. He was still awesome, still the best friend she could ever have, and still very Gabby.

She shrugged a little.] Not how I'd do it, but as long as it works.

Edited 2010-03-24 00:55 (UTC)

[Gabriel frowned at that, like he somehow sensed the discomfort without quite knowing what it was or why.] Okay, I could be doing better, but I have an abrasive personality and she's a bitch. I'll get on it. Until then... Happy thoughts.

[There was still a bit of a knot, but it loosened a little.] Happy thoughts. Open air, french fries, sparkly crowns... [She glanced at him with a bit of a grin, hoping to provide him with one.] Max.

Edited 2010-03-24 10:05 (UTC)

[Gabe ducked his head and snickered.] That one's up in the air. I have to actually watch what I say around here. You don't realize how hard it is for a guy like me to keep his mouth shut.

As hard as it is for a girl like me to open up?

[Gabriel chortled slightly.] Well, we're both of us closed books, Rubes. Good on us. It makes us unpredictable and... uh. I dunno. Fascinating.

[And sometimes very, very lonely.]

I like the word seductive. But I'm a demon. I can make anything seductive. [Or so she would hope.]

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020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

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