uberboned | 005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

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005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

[Transmission clicks on mid-rant, because he meant to turn the damn thing on, but got distracted by a wayward Cupid. Those little things are pesky. :|]

-little sparkly freak. Annnd the light's blinking. For those of you watching at home, I didn't dropkick Cupid, but I'm about ten seconds from it. You think that would offend the locals? ....I wonder what they do to criminals in this town. I'm not really seeing this as being the hang 'em high kinda place. Unless the nooses are made of licorace or something. Geez. It's like the Valentine's section at a department store exploded. Or we docked in a Disney movie and, by the way? If anyone breaks into song, I'm... No, I'm actually probably gonna laugh and consider the Admiral worthy of my undying respect.

Also, I'm offended at this place's complete disregard for anything other than traditional couples. If this is the love port, you'd think there'd be a lot more orgies. Woodstock was better at free love than this joint and a heckuva lot less cheesy. C'mon.

Anyway. Maxxie, Rubes, Deano, JD, John-Boy, Ringo... Whoever else is out there bored out of their skulls and wandering listlessly around this joint with nothing to do... As soon as I take care of some business in the casino, I'm parking it at the bar and am not moving an inch until we leave. Wild horses covered in pink flowers will not drag me from that place, but hot local girls might.

[OOC: And by "take care of something in the casino," he means "harrass the patrons." A LOT OF GAMBLERS ARE DICKS, OKAY? Feel free to spam, comment, do whatever you want. He has a date with Max and Ruby (not simultaneously), at some point, and a make-out session with Irene, but I'm still all open for plotting if anyone wants it. I am flexible like that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't need to get laid, dick.

[Really bad Australian accent. And loudly. So, like, everyone within twenty feet of him can hear.] And if you listen closely, you can hear the cry of the desperate Winchester, calling out for a mate.

[Somewhere, there is a demon, laughing her ass off. Perhaps behind you.]

Edited 2010-02-12 23:53 (UTC)

[OH LOOK A RUBY. Click goes the journal.] He secretly loves me and is too scared of his own feelings to admit it. How's Sparkletown treating you?

I should've brought a bucket.

Aww. The sweetness and light playing hell with the digestion?

Let's just say I haven't eaten since I got here. I think that speaks for itself.

Then it would probably be grossly irresponsible for me to offer you a trip to the nearest bar. [He purses his lips and holds up his hands like he's weighing each option.] Responsible Warden, fun drunk. Responsible Warden, fun drunk. Oh look at that. No brainer.

[Smirkity smirk smirk.] If I wanted responsible, I'd call Sveta.

[He offers a hand.] Then, by all means, let's be completely irresponsible until this place looks less nauseating.

[She takes that hand.] Don't mind if I do.

[And lo, they did frolic- or, rather, walk briskly as there is no frolicking here, because who do you think they are?- to the bar.] I stopped in here earlier. They practically name their drinks after the things you wind up doing when you drink 'em. It's so straightforward. I kinda approve.

You would. [Ruby, however, is kinda scared, and might be holding his hand a liiiittle tighter. A drink that made her do things. Hopefully demons are exempt.]

[He looked down at her hand squeezing his and frowned.] Don't worry, Rubes. I'm not gonna let anyone slip you a mickey on my watch.

More worried about accidentally doing it to myself. Shit like that always seems to happen.

I bet the college frat parties here are wild. [He rolls his eyes.] No, Gabe. You can't stalk the college campuses for arrogant jocks to knock down a few pegs. Because they don't have colleges in fairy tales, because everyone is a vapid idiot. [He pauses.] We were gonna have non-roofied alcoholic beverages. Let's do that.

[Vapid idiot. That sounded about right.] Yes. God yes.

[He leads her to the bar where he lets go of her hand to clamber up onto a bar stool.] I'll tell you one thing, I am not asking what's in a Shotgun Wedding, 'cause I already know. [He leans over slightly.] Just misery and regrets in the morning.

Yeah. [Grumpy!Ruby is grumpy and finds her own stool. Another reason she hates this place: it reminds her of how stupid she is for falling in love.]

[RUBY, Y U GOTTA BE THAT WAY? Your bro is concerned in his... Gabeish way.] Do I have to, uh, kick someone's ass or something? 'Cause I can do it. It's not even that hard, really. One minute they're there and the next... Oh hey, bodies were not meant to go through brick walls. How about that?

[SORRY, HE STABBED HER A FEW DAYS AGO, MKAY?! Even if she says she's fine, and is trying to look fine, she's not.] Wouldn't help. [You tried already, remember, Gabby?] But thanks anyways. [Insert strained grin here.]

[SAVED BY THE RUBY. You win this round, Winchester. CLICK GOES THE JOURNAL. :|]

[YOU'RE A DICK GABRIEL. YOU RUIN LIBRARIES EVERYWHERE. :/]

[WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING IN A LIBRARY, SASQUATCH? GOD. FIND YOURSELF A GIRL.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was like "Dazed and Confused" too. But lol I forgive you. <3

XD <333

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Gabe has to get the last word. IN BRACKETS. Because he's a dick. :|