uberboned | 005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

Entry tags:

005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

[Transmission clicks on mid-rant, because he meant to turn the damn thing on, but got distracted by a wayward Cupid. Those little things are pesky. :|]

-little sparkly freak. Annnd the light's blinking. For those of you watching at home, I didn't dropkick Cupid, but I'm about ten seconds from it. You think that would offend the locals? ....I wonder what they do to criminals in this town. I'm not really seeing this as being the hang 'em high kinda place. Unless the nooses are made of licorace or something. Geez. It's like the Valentine's section at a department store exploded. Or we docked in a Disney movie and, by the way? If anyone breaks into song, I'm... No, I'm actually probably gonna laugh and consider the Admiral worthy of my undying respect.

Also, I'm offended at this place's complete disregard for anything other than traditional couples. If this is the love port, you'd think there'd be a lot more orgies. Woodstock was better at free love than this joint and a heckuva lot less cheesy. C'mon.

Anyway. Maxxie, Rubes, Deano, JD, John-Boy, Ringo... Whoever else is out there bored out of their skulls and wandering listlessly around this joint with nothing to do... As soon as I take care of some business in the casino, I'm parking it at the bar and am not moving an inch until we leave. Wild horses covered in pink flowers will not drag me from that place, but hot local girls might.

[OOC: And by "take care of something in the casino," he means "harrass the patrons." A LOT OF GAMBLERS ARE DICKS, OKAY? Feel free to spam, comment, do whatever you want. He has a date with Max and Ruby (not simultaneously), at some point, and a make-out session with Irene, but I'm still all open for plotting if anyone wants it. I am flexible like that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The hearts, Gabe decided, he could live without, but whatever. He got to take out some of his frustrations out on the locals (a little just desserts wasn't gonna hurt anyone in this joint- it was practically a 'have your cake and eat it too' kind of place and some of that's probably literal) and that meant less desire to murder half the Barge. Score one for Team Trickster.

He sidled up to the bar and practically slid onto the stool beside Max, even though popping it would've probably been cooler. He was pretty sure blending in with the locals was an important here.

"There's just something about this place that makes me want to start using cheesy pick-up lines, but I'll spare you." He rolled his shoulders and snapped his fingers at the bartender to get his attention. "Barkeep, give me the sweetest thing you have and make it sweeter, if you know what I mean and I know you do." That done, he leaned on the bar and turned back to Max. "So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Shameless. Really and truly.

To complete the entire ensemble Max had a ball cap on, and when Gabe occupied the stool beside her she turned it backward over her long black hair and sucked on her lower lip a moment before replying to his company.

"I know it's like the lil' folk town of love and decency or something. Why can't real life be this way?" She thought on her own home and rubble and soot everywhere and the fact that everything was hard to come by. Having coffee each morning usually meant you were of an upper class.

"Nice girl," Max snorted and rolled her eyes. "I think you're mistaking me for somebody else, Trick." She watched the bartender nod at her friends request. "Get me somethin' a little harder. Because I gotta feeling that every damn thing in this town is sweet." The last sentence was more a mutter.

"These little heart things are creepers. They don't leave you alone, it's like I'm in a cartoon or something." Max laughed.

"I was gonna say what's a badass girl doing in a set straight out of Disneyland, but then I decided... I like irony." Gabe tilted his head slightly to the side, grinning sardonically.

He reached up and poked one tentatively. "A horrible, horrible cartoon. This is the kinda thing I'd dream up to torture someone who hates happiness with." He snapped his fingers, the hearts vanished for about ten seconds, only to come back with more vehemance. "...Eh. Worth a shot," he shrugged.

Max couldn't help but laugh at that. Mostly because she had never been to Disney Land... she didn't think the place was even still up and running where she was from. She'd seen a few of the movies though, but not when she was a child.

When he snapped and they disappeared she pulled a face. She didn't mind them too terribly when they came back but she was still impressed at the talent. "That was interesting." She had a smug smile.

"Better than taking down what you said was an arch demon anyway," she didn't follow the Winchester's world implicitly yet. Part of her didn't really want to. "I'm beginning to like it here though. It's got a happier feel than the barge, damn boat even has steely air."

He wagged a pinky at her. "More power in my little pinky than most people have in their whole self. My ego is so justified, but I leave the demons to their... Demon-ing. Much better for my sanity."

And where there are demons, there are creatures that can smell the angel on him, and he liked to avoid that.

He eyed the hearts warily and then shrugged, drumming his fingers on the bar. "I could think of worse places to be stuck," he said, tone considering. "Worst people to be stuck with, too." He winked.

Max bit into her lip and a snort broke through her teeth as she tried not to laugh. "You're gonna make me into a total bitch with all of this ego rubbin', Trick."

Max rapped her knuckles on the table gently as if to knock on wood, playing up the sarcasm for the arch angel who was equally as talented in it.

He clicked his tongue and shrugged again. "Then we'll be a matched set- like bookends, only way more badass."

He leaned back slightly, looking her over and strangely enough it wasn't in the skeevy eye-fucking sort of way- it was more the strangely attracted 'my God, is there any way you aren't perfect' sort of look of appraisal. "Now tell me, honestly. Did you just pointedly avoid other men until you met me or am I gonna have to throw some guy bigger than me out of this bar 'cause I looked sideways at his girl in a few minutes?"

Max completely missed the look of appraisal because her drink was being handed to her and she gave it a confused look because it was the fruitiest thing she had ever seen. It out-girled her completely.

She took a sip through closed teeth and a smile.

"Actually, pointedly avoiding men would be a 'no.'" she said in a clearly amused tone. "I've been told I'm foggy in relationships and most people get kinda jilted because I'm not exactly human, or because I could completely own them in one on one. You know how it do."

She laughed a little bit. "What about you? Am I gonna be called a homewrecker for about the thirty millionth time?"

"Well, then that works for me, 'cause I'm so foggy in relationships, I might as well be in Silent Hill, I'm completely not human, and I'm probably an even match for you in a one-on-one." He absolutely refused to take his drink from the bartender until he'd gotten that out and then reached over and plucked it from the man's hands without ever taking his eyes off Max. If her drink looked girly, then Gabe's probably took the left turn into froofy. A man less sure of his masculinity would be ashamed.

He scoffed. "I've been on that boat for a week. Give me two and then we'll talk. A guy's gotta breathe before he gets a foot under the table, but I can promise that if any of my ex-girlfriends show up on the Barge, you'll be the first to know. Their names are Never, Nada, and Zilch."

"All that swagger and ya haven't met a decent mate?" That's right. She said it. Swagger, yes, and mate. Max laughed a little and pushed her hair behind her ears beneath the ball cap. "I find that hard to believe. You're not human, who the hell KNOWS how long you've been around. What? Are you holdin' out for Miss frikkin' perfect?"

Max took another drink and smiled. "She doesn't exist."

"Never was the mating kind... Well, mating, yes, but not... Mating- mating." He paused and sniffed his drink, frowning at it. "I basically like sex a lot. Never really got into the whole 'relationship' thing. So it's less holdin' out and more being incapable of holding anything in."

He snorted. That came out worse than he intended it too. "Forget I said that. And if there ain't a Miss Perfect, I bet I can come pretty close." He held up his drink. "All ashore whose going ashore," he said, in a mock-toast before swallowing half the thing. Angel metabolism- makes for rather impressive drinking.

Max stared at him for a long time. Partly... in disbelief because WHY would he tell her that and then took on an impressed sort of look. "Well, at least you're honest."

Max took another long drink of her own and laughed a little. "So, how are you liking the S.S. Pain, so far?"

"I'd say I just don't have tact, but if you wanna call it honesty, I'll tack it up with my other virtues... If I have any other virtues." He pursed his lips, considering. "I have... No, that's not a virtue. Um. There was one. I think."

He shrugged it off, snickering at himself. "Well, aside from the fact that I could've picked a better time to show up. Fight Club and the Warden bitchfight of the year? That I could do without."

Edited 2010-02-13 01:52 (UTC)

"Honestly? That's one of the most normal things to happen here." Max said after a moment. "There have been worst tirades."

Max sucked in another large drink of her fruity cocktail and laughed light heartedly. "Well doesn't persistence and patience kind of group each other? Patience is a virtue!"

"Ha! There we go! Patience. I've got the patience of a very, very disenchanted saint," he sipped his own drink, grinning around the straw. "And I kinda assumed from the way people were talking that my righteous indignance was kinda premature, but, really now? I've made frat boys slow dance with aliens to teach 'em a lesson. The weird stuff's normal. It's when you bring a buncha people being idiots together in one big group that makes me doubt the human race... Not that half the Barge is human in the strictest sense, but whatever."

Max tilted her head to the side and gave him a look. Slow dancing aliens? That was both terrible and hilarious, she tried not openly show the fact that she'd probably do the same thing given the chance.

"I haven't done anything like that," a pause. "Well, I used to hock loogie's in the officer's cup of coffee that came to collect money so he wouldn't rat us out for squatting in an apartment building."

She thought some more. "I've also dressed up like a hooker and won the house at a hit man's casino that threatened to off my friend if they didn't do him some weird favor. Oh, I hung a girl outside over a balcony by her ankle..."

"Well, you have no game," he teased. "And by game, I mean phenomenal cosmic power. Note the pinky." He wiggled his pinky at her, just in case she forgot about it.

He choked on his drink at hooker comment and wound up staring at her. "I stopped listening at hooker. Did really you say you hung a girl over a balcony by her ankles?"

WHY SO AMAZING, MAX? WHY?

Max flipped her hair and rotated one shoulder, doing her best hooker imitation. It started with a giggle. "So... you gamble here? Can we play a game? No? I really like cards, but for some reason I can't stay fully clothed when I'm playing poker." Brief pause. "These cards are kinda greasy like my ex, you don't mind if I switch decks.... do you?" Eye batting.

Max threw a hand. "Yeah, she was trying to ruin my friend's engagement."

Gabe nodded the slow nod of a very impressed man. "...That's a really good hooker impression. And I would know. I'm very familiar with hookers." ...That was probably really awkward to say. He didn't really care. Much.

"Well, that's one I never thought of, so points for you," he said, waving a hand right back at her and going back to sucking back his drink and staring in awe.

Max finished what was left of her drink and narrowed her eyes on Gabe. It immediately started taking affect. "Instead of just staring at me like you wanna kiss me... why don't you do it?"

Edited 2010-02-13 02:40 (UTC)

Gabe finished the last of his drink and slammed the glass down on the bar with enough force to make the bartender jump, eyes narrowed slightly. "Because there's a special ring of Hell designed just for people who waste good alcohol and frankly, Max, I don't like the idea of Hell that much."

He paused. "Now lean forward a bit, because if I try it right now, I'm gonna faceplant on the floor and there's nothing sexy about that."

Max leaned her entire torso forward, one arm on the bar holding her up. She wasn't drunk, just love potioned and with what grace she biologically had probably wouldn't end up on the ground.

Nothing to it, but to do it then. He braced himself against the bar with one hand and then wrapped the other around the side of her neck before leaning forward and kissing her, barely noticing that the hearts fluttering around his head seemed to multiply in the process.

His vessel's heart did an odd little skip beat and a half-stifled moan of pleasure escaped his throat, not to be heard or noticed, because damn. There was no other word for this. Just... Damn.

Max smiled against his lips but pressed a little further, deepening it, and curling her tongue under the cupids bow of his upper lip. One hand found his knee and the inside of his leg to keep herself upright the own hearts around her head multiplying.

Angels don't generally sleep. Sloth being something of an artform though, Gabriel did it when he didn't have anything else to do... Or when he just had a wild night of passionate sex so good that he was half-certain he made it up.

But no, that number of hearts currently hovering around the bed probably said otherwise.

He raised a hand and slowly started pointing to them. "You and you and you and... All of you. Are sickos. Friggin' vouyeristic hearts."

Sleep/sex-drunk don't make for a very coherent archangel in the morning.

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~

spam~ ---wanna pick it up to morning after?

spam~ YEP. AND THEN THERE WAS SEX. THAT NO ONE GETS TO SEE. AND IT WAS GREAT SEX TOO.