uberboned | 005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

[Transmission clicks on mid-rant, because he meant to turn the damn thing on, but got distracted by a wayward Cupid. Those little things are pesky. :|]

-little sparkly freak. Annnd the light's blinking. For those of you watching at home, I didn't dropkick Cupid, but I'm about ten seconds from it. You think that would offend the locals? ....I wonder what they do to criminals in this town. I'm not really seeing this as being the hang 'em high kinda place. Unless the nooses are made of licorace or something. Geez. It's like the Valentine's section at a department store exploded. Or we docked in a Disney movie and, by the way? If anyone breaks into song, I'm... No, I'm actually probably gonna laugh and consider the Admiral worthy of my undying respect.

Also, I'm offended at this place's complete disregard for anything other than traditional couples. If this is the love port, you'd think there'd be a lot more orgies. Woodstock was better at free love than this joint and a heckuva lot less cheesy. C'mon.

Anyway. Maxxie, Rubes, Deano, JD, John-Boy, Ringo... Whoever else is out there bored out of their skulls and wandering listlessly around this joint with nothing to do... As soon as I take care of some business in the casino, I'm parking it at the bar and am not moving an inch until we leave. Wild horses covered in pink flowers will not drag me from that place, but hot local girls might.

[OOC: And by "take care of something in the casino," he means "harrass the patrons." A LOT OF GAMBLERS ARE DICKS, OKAY? Feel free to spam, comment, do whatever you want. He has a date with Max and Ruby (not simultaneously), at some point, and a make-out session with Irene, but I'm still all open for plotting if anyone wants it. I am flexible like that.]

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He made a small noise of pleasure at the kiss. "I dunno. I think we kinda filled our quota on screwing, don't you?"

Max dramatically flopped on top of him. "Pleeeeeeeeeeease, no more."

He laughed, throwing his head back slightly. "Well, fine, if you insist. Clearly, your stamina's not as good as you thought it was, princess." He tapped her lightly on the nose, smirking.

"Careful..." she warned. "I'll bite that finger off."

He pursed his lips in a slight oooh expression. "There's something I didn't get offered last night. You're holding out on me, Max."

Max gave him a look to judge if he was serious and then shook his head. "Okay, if you really want to be bit... ya weirdo." She sank her teeth into his shoulder.

"Ow," he yelped, more in surprise. "I was joking, although... No, I was joking." Surprise gave way to hysterical laughter. "Did you really just bite me? I'm the weirdo here?"

Max pushed him in the chest and laughed. "Hey, I never claimed to be normal."

"You said you wanted to be and my first thought was, 'no way,' but I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt. And now you've lost it." He clicked his tongue. "Sorry. Normal stops at randomly biting a guy."

Max stifled a laugh. "Stop picking on me, would you?"

"Triiiicksteeer," he drawled. "It's what I do. Do you want me to deny my nature? I have needs, Max."

He pouted, very puppy-like.

"I'm pretty sure I filled just about every need you had last night. And I never... want to get out of bed again." She patted his chest and leaned her head in her hand.

He shifted and mimiced her position. "Well, we've still got... What? Two days in port? What's the worst that can happen in two days? I mean, really. What could happen in this town? We find out the Admiral dropped us in Love City just in time for the locals to fatten us up on lust and then kill us all in some strange ritual?" He paused, considering that. "...On a scale of one to ten- one being 'not likely' and ten being 'hot damn, that Admiral's a freak'- how likely is that?"

"It's a hot damn," Max yawned. "You have no idea.... this a piece of cake compared to other stuff."

"Well, if the townsfolk come for blood, I'll... Drop 'em down an elevator shaft." He paused. "It'll be a really big elevator shaft."

"You sound so sure of yourself," Max smiled. "I'm sure even Trickster god's slip up SOMETIMES."

"Yeah. Are you just tuning in?" He said, completely sarcastically, before breaking off into another laugh. "And not me, sister. I'm good. Very good, in fact."

He was pointedly ignoring the whole... Holy fire trap thing. Yeah. That wasn't a slip-up. That was... A very potentially deadly fluke. Uh-huh.

Max ran a hand over the back of her neck and pulled her covers closer before falling back into the pillow. "Gimme a massage."

Gabe stared at her with a are you serious? expression. It lasted all of eight seconds before he rolled his eyes and obliged, figuring there's no imposition in getting to touch her more. "Y'know I spoil you," he teased in her ear.

Max gave an elated sigh at his hands on her back. "...So? You wouldn't do it if you didn't like it, right?"

"Probably not, but the point stands," he paused long enough to kiss her neck and then right back to rubbing her shoulders. He can't seem to think of a time when he would have done this... Of course, he can't really think of a time when this kind of thing ever really... Meant anything.

...Not that this meant anything. 'Course not. That would be ridiculous.

Max smiled a bit geekily into the pillow and shifted her weight beneath his hands letting out a small chuckle. "What barge? What inmate?" she joked.

"That's the spirit! Join me in blissful irresponsibility, for soon, I'm tethered to... Some psycho." Eventually, he'd probably stop calling them psychos, except for where he probably wouldn't.

Max rolled over and gave him another kiss. "The pscyhos aren't so bad, you get used to 'em after a while..... trust me."

"Hmm. That so?" He made another pleased noise and kissed her lightly again. "As long as I don't get stuck with Alastair. Believe me. That's a fireworks display that no one wants to see. It'll take the Barge with it. ...Why are we still talking?" And again came the kissing, more fervently this time.

spam ~

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