uberboned | 005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

[Transmission clicks on mid-rant, because he meant to turn the damn thing on, but got distracted by a wayward Cupid. Those little things are pesky. :|]

-little sparkly freak. Annnd the light's blinking. For those of you watching at home, I didn't dropkick Cupid, but I'm about ten seconds from it. You think that would offend the locals? ....I wonder what they do to criminals in this town. I'm not really seeing this as being the hang 'em high kinda place. Unless the nooses are made of licorace or something. Geez. It's like the Valentine's section at a department store exploded. Or we docked in a Disney movie and, by the way? If anyone breaks into song, I'm... No, I'm actually probably gonna laugh and consider the Admiral worthy of my undying respect.

Also, I'm offended at this place's complete disregard for anything other than traditional couples. If this is the love port, you'd think there'd be a lot more orgies. Woodstock was better at free love than this joint and a heckuva lot less cheesy. C'mon.

Anyway. Maxxie, Rubes, Deano, JD, John-Boy, Ringo... Whoever else is out there bored out of their skulls and wandering listlessly around this joint with nothing to do... As soon as I take care of some business in the casino, I'm parking it at the bar and am not moving an inch until we leave. Wild horses covered in pink flowers will not drag me from that place, but hot local girls might.

[OOC: And by "take care of something in the casino," he means "harrass the patrons." A LOT OF GAMBLERS ARE DICKS, OKAY? Feel free to spam, comment, do whatever you want. He has a date with Max and Ruby (not simultaneously), at some point, and a make-out session with Irene, but I'm still all open for plotting if anyone wants it. I am flexible like that.]

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[She'd think he was totally adorable. If she could look at him. She crosses her arms.] I'm glad you're enjoying this. [It makes one of them.]

It's my inner sense of schadenfruede. It's a curse. That don't mean I don't care. [He lets go of the lamppost and tries to tilt his head to get Ruby to look at him.] 'Cause I do. Believe me. I've got a funny way of showing it, but deep down, I am a wellspring of sympathy.

[And she does look at him. She's scared to death, but she does.] I know. [Cause she does the same thing with Dean. Or she used to. Insert giant sigh here.] At least this is temporary. I don't think I can handle another... [Trailing off as she realizes she's running off at the mouth again.] Why the fuck am I telling you this shit?

[Way too innocently.] I like to think it's because I have an honest face.

[That gets her to look at him on purpose, one of those 'I really shouldn't be amused by that but I totally am' kind of looks.] Well no doubt you'll get plenty of blackmail material until I'm back to normal.

We'll just call it even. You told me where Alastair sleeps, so I can find some way to use that to my advantage so I don't tell anyone about... Huh. [He purses his lips, considering.] What was I not telling anyone about again? I'm sure it was something.

Beats me.

Oh well. Guess it wasn't important. [He shrugged, laughing a bit.] So. You gonna be okay? This is me, being a guardian angel. It's... Not really a look for me, but what the heck? Hard to resist a cute demon in distress.

[Oh God, he's making her blush again.] I'll be okay...if there's sex. There's sex, right?

[SUDDEN GLEEFACE IS INTERRUPTED BY SUDDEN QUESTIONING.] ...With me or in general?

With you. Duh.

Then yes. You do. [And because waiting is for losers and the town's just that sappy and because he just can, he leans down and kisses her.]

[Mustnotmeltintoapuddle, mustnotmeltintoapuddle. Okay, so she melts a little, but quickly recovers and wraps her arms around him as she returns his kiss.]

[He will totally ignore the melting or, rather, file it under 'things he is not using for blackmail material. He pulls away before things start getting indecent.] Right. As much as this town approves of free love, I'm pretty sure there are laws against taking this any further right here.

[She smiles, and even laughs a little.] Yeah, probably.

[Insert awesome hot demon-on-angel sex log that no one gets to see here. USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS, PEOPLE. DID BARNEY THE DINOSAUR TEACH YOU NOTHING?

...ABOUT PORN?]

[LOL, BARNEY.

Right, so no more sex, but there's after-sex cuddling. Cause Ruby is totally a cuddler when she's in love, which means this will probably never happen again. Add a satisfied sigh and waaaaay too many floating hearts and you get the picture.] I've been touched by an angel. I can die happy. ...again.

[BARNEY IS NECESSARY FOR EVERY SEX SCENE. EXCEPT NOT. BECAUSE THAT'S CREEPY.

Gabe has one arm folded behind his head and another around Ruby, totally facilitating the cuddling, because he is, apparently, also a cuddler. Tell no one. He will never admit it.] You're welcome. I'm pretty sure Dad's never letting me back in the house after this one, buuut I'm not too broken up about it.

[She snorts.] Your dad even at the house?

[Pause.] Not at the moment. Not sure where he is. [He shrugged.] So I guess what he don't know don't get me cast into the pits.

Yeah. [Family's probably not the best thing to talk about, even though she's damn curious. A change of subject is in order.] Thanks for not being an ass.

Don't tell anyone. I have my reputation to think of.

Haven't ruined it yet. [Thoughtful pause.] At least I don't think so.

[Mostly teasing.] Good, because it's a very well-deserved reputation that I've been building for... I dunno, thousands of years, and I'd hate to see it all fall apart.

[Ruby laughs softly.] I love you. [She pauses as she realizes what just came out of her mouth, but she laughs again, though this time it's embarrassed laughter.] Ignore that. I don't really mean it.

spam!

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005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

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spam! AND WE CAN ASSUME SEX HAPPENED? As I have major SEX fail. :\

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