uberboned | 005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

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005: Little toooown, it's a quiet village....

[Transmission clicks on mid-rant, because he meant to turn the damn thing on, but got distracted by a wayward Cupid. Those little things are pesky. :|]

-little sparkly freak. Annnd the light's blinking. For those of you watching at home, I didn't dropkick Cupid, but I'm about ten seconds from it. You think that would offend the locals? ....I wonder what they do to criminals in this town. I'm not really seeing this as being the hang 'em high kinda place. Unless the nooses are made of licorace or something. Geez. It's like the Valentine's section at a department store exploded. Or we docked in a Disney movie and, by the way? If anyone breaks into song, I'm... No, I'm actually probably gonna laugh and consider the Admiral worthy of my undying respect.

Also, I'm offended at this place's complete disregard for anything other than traditional couples. If this is the love port, you'd think there'd be a lot more orgies. Woodstock was better at free love than this joint and a heckuva lot less cheesy. C'mon.

Anyway. Maxxie, Rubes, Deano, JD, John-Boy, Ringo... Whoever else is out there bored out of their skulls and wandering listlessly around this joint with nothing to do... As soon as I take care of some business in the casino, I'm parking it at the bar and am not moving an inch until we leave. Wild horses covered in pink flowers will not drag me from that place, but hot local girls might.

[OOC: And by "take care of something in the casino," he means "harrass the patrons." A LOT OF GAMBLERS ARE DICKS, OKAY? Feel free to spam, comment, do whatever you want. He has a date with Max and Ruby (not simultaneously), at some point, and a make-out session with Irene, but I'm still all open for plotting if anyone wants it. I am flexible like that.]

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More worried about accidentally doing it to myself. Shit like that always seems to happen.

I bet the college frat parties here are wild. [He rolls his eyes.] No, Gabe. You can't stalk the college campuses for arrogant jocks to knock down a few pegs. Because they don't have colleges in fairy tales, because everyone is a vapid idiot. [He pauses.] We were gonna have non-roofied alcoholic beverages. Let's do that.

[Vapid idiot. That sounded about right.] Yes. God yes.

[He leads her to the bar where he lets go of her hand to clamber up onto a bar stool.] I'll tell you one thing, I am not asking what's in a Shotgun Wedding, 'cause I already know. [He leans over slightly.] Just misery and regrets in the morning.

Yeah. [Grumpy!Ruby is grumpy and finds her own stool. Another reason she hates this place: it reminds her of how stupid she is for falling in love.]

[RUBY, Y U GOTTA BE THAT WAY? Your bro is concerned in his... Gabeish way.] Do I have to, uh, kick someone's ass or something? 'Cause I can do it. It's not even that hard, really. One minute they're there and the next... Oh hey, bodies were not meant to go through brick walls. How about that?

[SORRY, HE STABBED HER A FEW DAYS AGO, MKAY?! Even if she says she's fine, and is trying to look fine, she's not.] Wouldn't help. [You tried already, remember, Gabby?] But thanks anyways. [Insert strained grin here.]

[See Gabe. See Gabe frown.] Huh. Well, if you're sure. 'Cause y'know I can get your back. I know the whole... Turning my back on Heaven thing makes my loyalty something of a question, but rest assured, I don't usually up and abandon everyone I know. [Oh hey, he's not drunk enough to be saying crap like that. HE'LL TAKE WHAT IS A LONG SLOW DRY SPELL AGAINST THE WALL FOR FIVE HUNDRED, ALEX. IT SOUNDS FRISKY.]

[And Ruby doesn't care at this point, she just wants booze. If something's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. Surprise her.] I trust you, believe it or not. You're not exactly the average angel. [Thoughtful pause.] Not that I've met very many.

Well, I've met 'em all, and none of them would do what I'm doing right now. Or what I've thought about doing. Or what I could do. Or... Y'know, the list just goes on.

[She gave him a little smirk, still strained but a little more relaxed.] Poor Aziraphale. He's really gonna be disappointed when he finds out he's been knocked outta the running for my favorite.

[He places a hand over his heart.] Poor Azi. But we all know, he never really had a chance against me.

Who does?

[HE IS ACTUALLY THINKING. HE'S THINKING. HE'S THINKING...] ...Can't think of a single person. [He picks up his drink as they're brought out and holds it up.] Cheers.

[Clink!] Cheers. [Ruby downs her drink pretty quickly, wanting to feel something other than gloom or nausea, and she certainly did as soon as she glanced back at Gabriel.

Cue random awkwardness, complete with staring into her glass to avoid staring at him.]

Edited 2010-02-13 05:49 (UTC)

[Gabe finished his drink a few seconds after Ruby, not really feeling much of anything, other than a slight buzz, but he sure as hell noticed Ruby's change in demeanor.] ....What?

[She shook her head. Maybe a little too hard.] Nothing. I'm fine. Totally fine. [A drink that turned her into Sam Winchester? That was impressive, but it could be a problem here.]

[Gabe leaned forward a bit.] You're lying, Ruby. C'mon, it's me. What's the worst that I'll say? [Pause.] ...That won't be said in a completely honest, yet endearing, way.

I, uh...the drink... [Is she blushing? Demons don't blush!] ...damnit.

[Ruby, meet Gabe's eyebrows. They like to do all the talking for him sometimes.] ...Did they... Spike it with something nutty? [AND WE PAUSE TO NOTE THE BLUSHING.] ...How fast does that stuff work? You're turning... Oh. Oh. Huh. [And, suddenly, this situation is full of awkward. Or possibly less full of awkward than it should be as Gabe doesn't look awkward at all... Just contemplative.]

[Don't worry, Ruby's got enough awkward for both of them, as her head is now meeting the bar. And staying there. Yay hair that hides the embarrassing shade of pink!] Fuck my life.

[GABE IS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH, BUT THIS IS KIND OF ADORABLE, BUT AT LEAST HE'S TRYING? IT COULD BE WORSE. That said, he reaches over and pats her on the back.] You can't be held accountable for the spiked drinks with really inappropriate names, Ruby. Also, I'm just really good-looking.

[SO MODEST. :|]

[She turns her head just a bit, enough for the tip of her nose to poke through.] But I knew that already. [She is this close to pouting. THISCLOSE.]

The part about the drinks being spiked or the part about me being really good-looking? [He claps her on the shoulder.] C'mon, the bar's clearly not helping.

[Both, but she meant the later. Not that it matters.]

Ya know, you're right. You should just kill me now. Everybody I love does that anyway. Might as well get it over with.

[...did she just say that out loud?]

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