020- (Voice) Gabe is still the most unhelpful angel on the Barge

[uberboned]

Okay! So everyone's getting a bit twitchy over this whole 'we're trapped on a boat with a bunch of starving vampires' thing. I get it. We all look like meals on wheels to you bloodsuckers right now, but just remember that people are friends not food. Repeat it to yourself. Cross-stitch it onto a pillow. I bet some of you guys could use the distraction right now. Go ahead. Cross-stitch away. It's a great hobby.

And, for the record, drinking angel blood is like drinking Drain-o. So don't try it... Unless you want to be hungry and convulsing on the floor with killer indigestion. Hah! See what I did there? 'Cause it... Never mind.

[Private to Max, added later.]

I'm coming over. I need to talk to you. And you don't get to say no.

Comments

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

Not offering yourself up as a blood sack, Gabby? How uncharitable of you.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Woe to the vampires, Al. Mine has an extra kick to it and the last thing I need is to become the new drug of choice around here. You'll just have to keep those images of me bleeding out somewhere to your sick imagination.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

I don't remember anyone building rehab centers for the dumb fuckers who get addicted to angel blood, feather-cunt. Then again... I can only imagine what demon's blood may do to those vampers. Could be fun...

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

That's because we don't stay still long enough for anyone to get close enough to bite us.

...I don't have a retort to that, mostly 'cause anything I say will probably just make you want it more.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

Slippery little fuckers. Burst of angel haemoglobin would probably deep fry those delicate little meat sacks of theirs.

Demons are clearly... more giving. What can I say? I like people.