034 (Video) Gabriel's gotta set the world straight, okay?

[uberboned]

[Gabriel is mainly posting this so everyone can see he's a cool customer again. Mostly. He's sprawled out on a chair and tilting back on two legs with his legs propped up on his desk and massaging his forehead. This is probably the most NOT ENTIRELY ZEN you will ever see Gabriel. This is... What feeling trapped and not able to do anything about people like Armand (y'know the way he usually does) does to him.]

I know I'm gonna get so much flack for saying this, but... I don't care what any of you think- surprise!- but I, personally, need a port. I don't care if it's Jurassic friggin' Park. Stop the ride, I wanna get off. I'd take five minutes. You all could stay on the friggin' boat for all I care. Heck, leave without me. I can start a new life with the dinosaurs.

[Pause. He glares at the camera.]

That was not a suggestion, Admiral Asshole. I'm allowed one moment of melodrama and this is it.

[And then he just turns on the bitchface.]

And now we return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

[The transmission clicks off.]

[Private to Dean]

[And the video clicks back on. Gabriel's holding up his copy of Casa Erotica 13 now with added post-it note attached to it. Dean was... Kind enough to leave it while he was being a sulky bitch with Murphy. Gabriel really needs to get better locks for his door. ....He never uses that door anyway.]

Look. I got the memo. You don't wanna be bothered? Fine. This is me, not bothering you, but I've got one thing to say, so I'm gonna say it. I've got enough on my plate without getting the skinny on what exactly went down out there, so if you ever yank yourself up outta that pit you're in? What happened back home is gonna be a strictly "Don't ask, don't tell" situation. Got it?

And as for this and, more importantly, the whole gory story of why it happened? [He shakes the DVD. It promptly goes up in flames and Gabriel flicks the ashes away.] That's between you, me, and Sam, wherever the heck he may be. Comprende?

[Private to Murphy- added later]

How bad d'you wanna pick a fight with someone right now?

Comments

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[LOL. SEE GABRIEL EVADE.]

Pfft. What? Why would you think that? Is someone pullin' that card on you? You want me to punch 'em until they talk about their pain? Or... Something.

Also, technically, we're all kinda melodramatic. It's sorta in the job description. I just gave it up when I turned in my halo with my two weeks.

[cisskabob]

[CISSIE SEES THROUGH THAT, GABE. SHE'S FRIENDS WITH THE MOST EVASIVE ROBIN.]

I dunno, I think it might be the whole preferring Jurassic Park to the Good Ship Lollipop thing. Did you get drunk and do terribly embarrassing things? That seems to be what most people are upset about. Certain Time Lords holding the weight of the universe on their shoulders excluded.

I suppose you have a point. What's the difference between melodrama and plain old drama, anyway? I've always wondered.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Jurassic Park makes sense. There are dinosaurs. If you don't get eaten, you live! It's as easy as franchise-based film-making.

I had a mustache and thought I was an international spy. My amnesia week was awesome.

Melodrama is when it's just so overdramatic, it's hilarious, instead of sad. Sometimes I go back through the Bible and remember the crap I used to say and just die a little.

[cisskabob]

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I'd get eaten. That doesn't sound like much fun. That franchise gave me nightmares; there's an entire generation terrified of velociraptors now.

At least there's that. I just tried to figure out if I was someone famous. I'm not.

Well, you could claim you were misquoted, but since you've admitted that it makes you die a little on the inside, it might negate that. If it's not the flood, what is inspiring tonight's bout of melodrama?

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Please. That's what the big strong godlike beings are for- being impressive and taking out the velociraptors. Or whatever.

[Hnnnngh. You are the only person he can't be mean and bitchy to, Cissie.]

Just... Been stuck on this boat too long. That four months out made the difference really noticeable.

[Private]

[cisskabob]

In that case, if we land in Jurassic Park because of this, I'm expecting you to save me from the carnivores. I'll at least be smart enough not to use a port-o-potty, so I should be okay with the T-Rex, but still.

[This is her superpower, yo.]

Cabin Fever. It gets to the best of us. But I think I missed that while I was gone. It wasn't four months here though, right? Because I don't know how much I trust my concept of time and stuff after the ways our brains keep getting messed with. I was gone for two weeks and don't remember a second of it, which sucks. Is there stuff going on back home you're worried about?

[Private]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

You got it.

[Yes, it is. BLONDES. GABRIEL'S ONLY WEAKNESS.]

It was two days.

[HNNNNNNN. ABORT. ABORT. ABORT. LIE MODE ON. ACT CASUAL.]

Not really. I just don't like being confined for this long.