029- (Voice) HIS BARGE TROLL CROWN IS BEING COMPROMISED. GTFO.

[uberboned]

Okay! So, uh... What now? Huh? The Admiral's just decided to stop announcing his bad driving? Like we're not gonna notice when this crap goes pearshaped? Seriously? Oh hey! Raise your hand if you think something's gone wrong with the Barge. Oh wait.

And if one more person says it's temporal interference, I will punt them.

Why do I have a feeling this is just gonna somehow end in blood and tears? Oh right. Because it's the Barge. That's how it always ends with this place. Hate to break it to you, newbies, but you just tapped into the Good Ship Unclaimed Baggage. Get out while you can.

Comments

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

From what I've seen, he prefers to behave like an overgrown child.

Fortunately he's got plenty of babysitters here, so you can head back to heaven and leave the rest to us.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

He has his moments.

Daycare's not really where he belongs right now. We're taking him home.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

You're taking him nowhere he doesn't want to go.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Is this the part where you say I have to go through you to get to him?

Because I should warn you, our grasp on molecular structure being as nuanced as it is, that's quite literally possible. I can't promise it would be really comfortable for you, however.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

I'm used to the idea of things being able to tear through me without a whole lot of effort.

But yeah. For what it's worth, you will.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Your dramatics are a little lost on me.

I won't waste any more time arguing with you. If you have goodbyes to say to him, you might want to do them now.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

He's not leaving.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Self-delusion won't affect the outcome.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

...Okay.

[This is so dumb this is so dumb this is SO DUMB.] Then take me out, take him home, and stop talking.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Is that what you expect from me? A royal smiting?

It is not your time, Karrin Murphy. When that day does come, I'll be waiting to escort your soul.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

...Right.

...And Gabriel? What about him?

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

I'll try to let him retain enough dignity to come of his own volition, but if he refuses to listen to reason, I've no choice.

[whateverthemess.livejournal.com]

That's a load of bullshit.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Alright then: I have a choice.

And I choose not to leave him here.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

No. NO. Screw that noise. I am not friggin' going back.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

You're gonna sit there and tell me you don't miss Heaven, Gabriel?

I know better.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[SHUT UP, MICHAEL. YOU ASS.]

I miss Heaven the way it was. Y'know, you move some of the furniture around and, oh yeah, throw half the family to Perdition, you kinda don't recognize the place anymore.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

[Look, he has to meet his Being-A-Dick quota for the day, mmk?]

You can't fault us for reacting to the choices they made, Gabriel. They were just that: their choices.

If you'd prefer we throw out all consequence from here on out, I'm sure we'd all be happy to step aside and let you try to handle a world where no prices are paid.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[And Gabriel's getting his Being-a-Snarky-Bitch quota in.]

I told you. We should've just gotten a chore wheel like other families.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

What's done is done, brother. What we can affect is the future.

Being afraid of it accomplishes nothing, but demonstrating a lack of faith.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. You're not dragging me back home. You'll have to take me back over my dead body.

[OH THANK GOD, MICHAEL CAN'T SEE HIM CRINGE.]

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

We can get you another body. [That's the sound of Michael apparently being completely unfazed.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I like this one.

[viceroyofheaven.livejournal.com]

Then don't do something stupid that's going to end in you losing it.

[SIGH.] Gabriel, I don't wish to bring you back as a prisoner. I wish you to walk back, as my brother. There will be no chains upon you. You won't be thrown in a cell and unable to return to Earth, or whatever it is you expect.

Believe me - though you won't - I understand your position, and I can even sympathize with why you left, but your petulance and this... cowardice that keeps you running aground? Means only one thing.

You've lost faith in His will. And what is lost can be found again. Give us that chance.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[And you have broken your little brother, Michael. GOOD JOB.

He's really quiet for a long time before he finally speaks, EVERY OUNCE OF CONTROL HE HAS going into making himself sound like he doesn't give a rat's ass.]

Well. Glad you got that off your chest, Mike. Was it good for you?