uberboned | 003 (Voice, second verse, same as the first, BUT THIS TIME THERE'S A REASON.)

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003 (Voice, second verse, same as the first, BUT THIS TIME THERE'S A REASON.)

[The audio link clicks on and the Barge gets treated to THIS. Don't make the mistake of assuming this means Gabe is a cultured, immature son of a bitch. He probably only knows it as the Alcoholic's Anonymous theme song. Eventually, Gabe starts talking over it.]

So, apparently, the first step to eternal life is you have to die. Great mantra here, guys, considering you're already dead, but whatever. And if anyone asks you if you know Tyler Durden, just say no.

That said, I don't do rigorous structure and I'm chompin' at the bit to put half of you in fun situations you don't wanna be in and probably won't find nearly as fun as I will, but I'm resisting, 'cause I occasionally use this little thing called restraint. Look it up. Some of you need better dictionaries. Do I need to start a five step program here? 'Cause I gotta tell you, one of those steps is "make amends," not "make a mess of the mens." Glad I could clear that up for you. You're welcome.

That said, if any of you putzes start fight clubbing it up anywhere near my level, I'm gonna forget that I'm actively Not Involved in this bullshit and happily put you through a wall and leave your Wardens to deal with your bruised asses. Just a tip.

And yes, JD is with me. And no, I'm not corrupting his delicate youthful sensibilities. Geez.

[OOC: Gabe's pretty much had it with you people and due to the fact that his KNEEJERK reaction to this kind of thing is to start dishing out just desserts all around and that would exacerbate the situation and he's fully capable of REALIZING that, since he can't just run off and leave the chaos to someone else, he's mostly staying in his room and being agitated. But yeah, if anyone causes problems near his level, REST ASSURED THERE WILL BE ONE PISSED-OFF ARCHANGEL GUNNING FOR YOUR COLLARBONES. This is not even the kind of chaos he likes, dudes.]

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[Drawing in his sketchpad.] What youthful sensibilities?

[He is so shutting off that classical now, because dear Lord that shit's annoying.] I'm sure someone out there thinks you have 'em.

[JD just chuckled and added some more strokes onto the page.] Just like someone out there thinks you're a creepy child predator that offers slushie's if I'll get in your van.

[Gabe arched an eyebrow and moved over to his Table O' Sweets.] Does the overprotective parenting thing actually work or is he just naturally that neurotic?

[JD shrugged his shoulders.] He and Morgan have decided they're my parental unit. I don't care so much. You could say it works. I guess? You only change if you want to. Force doesn't do much. Neither does the nurture over nature concept. [Pause.] Toss me one of those strawberry filled ones.

[He obliged, tossing it over, before popping a piece of fudge into his mouth.] And you don't wanna change, so you're stuck on the Minnow until, despite of the work of its fearless crew, it gets lost somewhere in the void, which I'm starting to think is where it's headed.

[He plopped down on the bed.] Look. I deal with little punkasses like the assholes on this Barge all the friggin' time. Unless you pull a Jack Nicholson within a week, I'm willin' to give you the benefit of the doubt, here. But, hey, what do I know? I'm not the guy who decides when you're ready to go on to the big second chance in the sky here, so my opinion's moot and my morality ain't up to snuff to some people. Whatever. [Eyeroll]

[JD caught it and took a bite, holding it in the that hand as he spoke.] I'm good where I am. Old enough to know better, still too young to care. I got a pretty sweet deal here. I don't mind being an inmate. And I blew myself up. I don't really have a second chance in the sky.

[There was a pause.] Well, damn, so much for my 72 virgins.

Edited 2010-02-09 20:04 (UTC)

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[Still drugged up in the infirmary, but still smart enough to filter.]

Gabby, what the hell is going on?

Well, let's recap. I'm pretty sure Deano got demoted (by the way- sucks that you died, sorry about that), but I'm avoiding Winchester City for awhile until they both calm the fuck down, so new steady news on that front.

And oh, right. The Inmate populace has decided that the best idea ever is to go around killing each other. It's the Most Dangerous Game out here. Wardens going crazy, Inmates going crazy. I'd love it if it didn't annoy me so much.

Dean's demotion was kind of the plan, however quickly concocted it was. I just wish the bastard had left Sam out of it.

These people are morons.

Yeeeeah. I'd give 'em a taste of their own medicine, but I'm pretty sure that's what they want, the masochistic bastards.

I don't really care what Dean wants anymore. I thought he believed in me, but he doesn't. How stupid is that? [Ruby shouldn't talk to people with drugs in her system.]

Rubes, put the journal down and play nice with the drugs. They're your friends. The Winchesters, as a general rule when it comes to people like us? Are not.

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He has delicate youthful sensibilities?

...and no one's corrupted them yet?

Well, if he does, I'm not doing any corrupting. Trickster's honor.

[Although, you cannot see it, he is totally holding up his hand right now.]

Good to know.

How is he?

He's fine! Just njoying the good life.

Candy and schadenfreude. Life's little pleasures.

Fattening him up? You know, that's just going to make everyone jealous.

...Yes. Yes, I am. You've caught wind of my evil plot.

Jealous of who? JD because he gets candy or me because the kid likes me best. [HEAR THE SMUG, SELF-SATISFIED GRIN. HEEEAR IT.]

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Funny how a demoted warden and a dead demon can make the barge implode with down right stupidity.

...You were right, though, Gabe. I really should just play my role.

Deean. Great to hear from you. Good to hear you're not interested in coming for my head next. Always knew you kinda liked me.

What was that? Couldn't quite hear that last part. Was it Gabe was right? Huh. File that under 'words I never thought I'd hear.'

Sorry, not feelin' very Cash lately. I'll take a rain check on trappin' you in a ring. No, but really, that'd be like the time I put a devil's trap in the communal showers for Ruby and she got stuck there naked. ...Someone would eventually let you out. No point.

Don't really think you need it shouted from roof tops, dude.

Edited 2010-02-10 05:59 (UTC)

[First of all, THANKS DEAN. HE'LL BE THINKING ABOUT THAT ALL NIGHT. That's the second goddamn cold shower today.]

Not really, no. [Have a sigh that you know is followed by an eyeroll on the other side of the line.] Well, Gilligan, this ain't the Minnow and we ain't in Kansas anymore, so you're a little late for that soul-shattering revelation.

Edited 2010-02-10 06:11 (UTC)

You know as well as I do that it's never too late. I've got no warden, if I die I've got no one to request me back. I could say yes, and off myself. Twenty bucks says he finds me wherever the fuck my body is buried now and finishes everything.

Edited 2010-02-10 06:18 (UTC)

[Remember this tone of voice, Dean? Yeah, this is the tone of voice that says that Gabe would have your collarbone for a trophy if you weren't in zero right now.]

Kid, I'll put you on suicide watch so fast, your little head will spin. So unless you want me down there eyeballing you every second I don't have my own pissant to look after, don't screw with me, okay? I don't care what kinda heavy thinking you've been doing down there, but get over it. We're all running from something, so why don't you duck and hide like everyone else and suck it up.

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