IC CONTACT POST

[uberboned]

[A woman's voice comes over the line.]

You've reached the Trickster's voicemail. Unfortunately, Mr. Trickster isn't available to take your call, nor will he likely ever be. Should you still wish to leave a message, please respond after the tone, and maybe we'll remember to get it to him, mmkay?

[Beep]

[[OOC: This is an IC voicemail post for all verses games. Please put the name of the verse/game you want in the subject heading.]]

Comments

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[There's Jinx, sitting on the roof with binoculars still attached to her face. She's watching everyone scramble into cars and run, snickering and chewing on beef jerky in a very unladylike manner.]

Anyone ever tell you that you're the biggest asshole in this city and I'm Lucky to have you?

[Bad puns and everything. Either she was in a really good mood, or she was nervous. A little of both.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I am the Trickster. [Preeeen] You don't get a definitive article by half-assing anything. [And Gabriel's so high on NOT GIVING A DAMN EVEN IF THE ENTIRE CITY'S TALKING ABOUT FUMES that he's... Trying not to notice. Plus almost any shift in Jinx's emotions he chalks up to "UM PREGNANT?" Not his fault, he's never dealt with that before.

Although, Loki's latent memories were quit informative in the WORST WAY.]

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[She takes a moment to finish the piece of jerky she's mangling before she stands up. Her movements are careful; her back is sore. This is the heaviest she's been in her life and it's hard to get used to.]

So, the Trickster. Let's test your memory. Take me to the exact spot we went when we got our powers back.

I could use a crater full of flowers right about now.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I've never tried this on a pregnant woman before, but hopefully you won't throw up too much. And the kid should get used to it early. [He snaps. VOILA CRATER FULL OF FLOWERS.

He inhales deeply and sighs.]

I can still smell the glory and depravity.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Even if she's pregnant, she's had half a year to get used to it. All the sudden scene change manages to do it make her dizzy. That's easily solved by dropping like a fence post back into the grass and flowers.

Smiling, she looks up at the sky.]

Now that we have the appropriately picturesque scenery, the good memories, a symbol of our dramatized lives...I've got news you probably wanna sit the fuck down for.

[There's that nervousness again.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel stares at her. And blinks. And does not sit down.]

....It's twins, isn't it?

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

You don't see me throwing myself off a building, do you? [She was dead serious on that one.]

No. There's only one, and Doctor D called me today to tell me that [she swallows hard] she is doing just fine.

[And that's how Gabriel found out he was having a daughter.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[And that was how Gabriel figured out that there is nothing in the world that can cause an angel to faint from shock even if it would have been appropriate at this moment.]

I, uh... She? [His voice never used to squeak like that.]

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Jinx covers her face with both hands, exhaling shakily.]

We're going to have a house will a tall tower with no door so she can never leave. I'm praying she has nothing but your genetics. Your weight problems, your bad skin, your hairline...

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[Gabriel bites his knuckles and goes eerily silent for a few moments before...]

....I'll go buy a shotgun. Just in case.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Jinx sits up, forehead in her hand.]

I want a new one. Do-over. I cannot deal with a girl. I can't. I can't even deal with anything under the age of eight, how the hell am I gonna do this?

Second thoughts. I'm definitely having second thoughts.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time seeing you with a daughter- I mean, it's a Joan Crawford situation just waiting to happen.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Seeing me with a daughter? [She gives him a look.]

Ahiru has you running around in circles. Our little abomination's going to have you whipped more than I could ever dream of.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

....You forgot Maya. She's just more low-maintenance. [Facefall. Damn, he is a sucker for a little girl.]

And we're never getting a cat. Nothing that even vaguely resembles a cat. If the kid goes near something cat-like, I'm gonna lose it.

[...Oh wait. He's talking like they're keeping it. Fuckberries.]

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Either a reference just went right over my head or you're just talking like that because you're in shock.

[She motions for him to sit down next to her.]

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

[He flops down unceremoniously. Kyubey apparently ilicits this reaction.] Ahiru's contract's held by some demonic self-cannibalizing cat freak that will not die.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[She leans her head on his shoulder.]

I find the term "cat freak" racist and derogatory.

[She sighs.] How many times did you try killing it?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

It was definitely not your soul brother, so you can rest easy. [He huffs at that and holds up five fingers.]

Five. I had to stop because it was getting close to midnight and I was worried what damage letting it eat itself after that could do.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Jinx takes his hand and kisses the tip of every one of those fingers.]

That sounds horrible. Do you know why Ahiru made a contract with this thing?

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

To keep everyone safe and happy. [He can't even do a passable imitation of a pre-teen girl, but he can make his voice high and girly.] I tried to give her the free will speech, but she was having none of it. And I think she hates me now... Except she doesn't hate anyone, so it's really complicated.

[He sighs and wraps his other hand around hers.] I'm not really that good a paternal figure- I haven't exactly been the greatest older brother all these years and then there's that whole 'absent Dad' thing... I mean, look how bad the Winchesters are screwed up.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Damn it, Ahiru. [She growls and shakes her head.] I'll try talking to her. I am her mentor. Or something.

[She sighs and looks down at their connected hands.]

Well, you've got one thing going for you. There's no way in hell I'm letting you run away from this one. If you so much as try, I'll find you... [Looking back up, she gives him her best serious mobster face.] And I will make you pay>

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

And I wouldn't want that. I've seen your dungeon. [He pouted a little and then kissed her nose.] I'm gonna miss your dungeon.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

Where in the book does it say I have to bequeath the dungeon? [She glares, crinkling her nose.]

I am never giving up my rights to tie you up and break out the leather.

[painhumbles.livejournal.com]

Do they make maternity dominatrix outfits? [He wrinkles his nose right at her] We could have just invented a new kink.

[Annnd that just makes him snort] This kid is gonna be so screwed up.

[hexyoutotuesday.livejournal.com]

[Groaning, she rolls her eyes and lets go of his hand. But it's not long before she straddles his lap, draping her arms over his shoulders.]

We didn't. Believe me. It already exists.

[A frown.] Our sex life aside, she's going to have it rough. No matter what. I've been....praying that she looks more like you than me. [Legitimately praying.]