IC CONTACT POST

[uberboned]

[A woman's voice comes over the line.]

You've reached the Trickster's voicemail. Unfortunately, Mr. Trickster isn't available to take your call, nor will he likely ever be. Should you still wish to leave a message, please respond after the tone, and maybe we'll remember to get it to him, mmkay?

[Beep]

[[OOC: This is an IC voicemail post for all verses games. Please put the name of the verse/game you want in the subject heading.]]

Comments

[thelightbringer]

Whether or not Raphael returned, none of Lucifer's plans would matter. He couldn't waste time breaking through her shell again. The sister he'd had, however briefly, had never truly returned from death anyway.

"You know, I never thought we'd have a family reunion with all four of us. No one brought potato salad?"

[uberboned]

Gabriel snorted. "Was there ever a moment where all four of us were getting along at the same time? I'm shocked we didn't destroy this place."

Because, really, the four archangels sitting around bro-ing it up and not fighting each other was almost as scary as the alternative. Come to think of it, however, there weren't a whole lot of moments, all four of them were in a room together.

And now... Well, that moment had passed, apparently.

[thelightbringer]

"Yes. But not since that time we convinced Raphael it was a matter of security to dig into that oceanic volcano."

Poor Raphael had been at that for centuries.

"Gabriel- how much do you know about hellfire now?"

[uberboned]

"I remember that." Gabriel's sudden glee was quickly cut off by him flopping back against his (albeit uncomfortable stone) couch and sighing. Family pow-wow cut dramatically short by Deep Thoughts.

"That it hurts like... Well, you know what." He pawed his face and then ran a hand through his hair. "And that it's a bitch on the Grace. Why?"

[thelightbringer]

He sighed and kicked his feet up against the wall, so he was lying down and leaving scuff marks. Trust Lucifer to be a rude houseguest.

"Because I'm in a pickle here. I was letting Urahara and his lot study it, so they could find a way to help Raphael. Now that I don't need that...I don't really want it in their hands. But starting tomorrow, Mayuri is going to be running experiments on it."

[uberboned]

Well, you should've known that would happen. But Gabriel wasn't that uncouth- at least not in familial matters. He ran a hand through his hair and puffed out his cheeks before exhaling. "And I take it death gods don't like their deals being called off, huh?"

[thelightbringer]

"Who does? But Mayuri was never part of the deal anyway, so..."

Lucifer and his very narrow loopholes.

"Still. Be prepared if they happen to throw a fit."

[uberboned]

"You are so determined to get us into a war with them, aren't you?" It wasn't so much a bitchy, negative comment as it was an assessment of Lucifer's... Well Lucifer-ness. He did sort of thrive in conflict, as a matter of course.

"Where's Unohana in all this? That's her boy scout troop, ain't it?"

[thelightbringer]

"Yes but she's the most ineffective Den Mother there is. She knows what's going on, but she can't stop them, so she doesn't even try." He shrugged. "Unless you think you can talk to her...?"

[uberboned]

"She apparently doesn't do the whole Uber-Vixen thing anymore. Every time I ask her about it, she's all, 'No Gabriel-dono, you don't want to see that.'" He threw his arms up in exasperation. "The more someone tells me that? The more I kinda wanna see."

[thelightbringer]

Lucifer scoffs. "So go drill her for information. It's what you're good at. Get her to show you something good. Anyway, that reformed-vixen thing? Don't buy it. She was cozying up to Xerxes a few months ago."

[uberboned]

"She's a classy lady, Lucy. She needs to be wooed, not drilled." He pauses, considering that. "I mean, she probably needs to be drilled too, but not in the way you're thinking."

He lives to disgust you, bro. That's how life works.

Except his joke immediately falls flat, because now he's just looking at Lucifer like he just suggested that the moon causes cancer. "Uh... And do you think she knows that Break's gayer than the Vatican?"

[thelightbringer]

Lucifer's face is still stuck in mid-disgust at the idea of Unohana being 'drilled' by anyone. Especially Gabriel, even though the other angel is probably infested with whatever Kali had.

And yet, it's that next sentence that puts Lucifer on edge.

"I think she knows, since he turned her down." A long pause. "Because of me."

[uberboned]

Gabriel raises an eyebrow, suddenly both interested and at least slightly aware that maybe he should abort before this gets too heavy, but, whatever. Since when did Gabriel do anything that was allegedly good for him?

"You're just the most popular girl in school, aren'tcha?

[thelightbringer]

Lucifer rolls his eyes, but that's a definite smirk. "Haven't I always been? But listen, you have the best chance at getting close to them. I have to associate with them all now, but that doesn't mean any of them like me."

And Lucifer most assuredly does not like them. "Hang around with me, you'll see them more often."

[uberboned]

"Well, yeah, but most people didn't want to- No, wait. I take it back. Anton LeVay made "boning Satan" a legitimate past-time for bored Goths and people who hate the world." He shrugs, making it a point to show how utterly put-out he is by the way he's being used, even if he feels nothing of the sort.

"I'll see what I can do about getting invited to death god brunch."

[thelightbringer]

"Jinx had that part covered." Break is neither a Goth nor someone who hates the world, but self-loathing is probably credential enough.

But he smirks at Gabriel, his tone lilts a little more. "Your country's very proud of you."

[uberboned]

"And that ended so well." In that it didn't end at all. Jinx might be off having awkward sexual tension with Kids, but Gabriel knew she hadn't let go of Lucifer yet, despite what she said.

"Yeah, yeah. Save it for when they don't eat me alive. My last experiences with gods aren't the best." Considering his god squad and the Animus...

[thelightbringer]

Lucifer just smirks. "They're nowhere near as reactive as the gods you laid down with. You can even hold conversations with these gods. Do you think you can handle that?"

[uberboned]

And Gabriel's response to to roll his eyes. "Oh, I don't know, Lucy. I'm just so used to communicating in only clicks and grunts and 'me throw rock at mortals.'"

[thelightbringer]

It's not that no one else can get away with that kind of sarcasm. It's just that no one else can get a smile out of Lucifer for it.

"I honestly thought you'd show up in a chimp vessel when I saw you again."

[uberboned]

Gabriel's response is a petulant raspberry, but he's snickering, so the effect is lost. "Please. Now Zachariah's meat sock? That hunk of corporate d-bag he was wearing was one off from a gorilla in Armani."

[thelightbringer]

Lucifer groans, agreeing. He and Gabriel are limited in what vessels they can take, but the world was fairly wide open for Zachariah. "Where did he find him? The edge of the roof of an insurance agency?"

[uberboned]

"And the part that gets me is that he had to be devout- who the hell works in any career that body could have been suited for and actually believes there's a God?" Gabriel throws out his arms in a wide gesture. "Whole world of options and he picks that guy. Maybe he had a hot wife who was really hoping he'd end up jumping."

[thelightbringer]

Lucifer strokes his chin. "I wonder how Zachariah would have handled her...business negotiations as they're undressing? Compromising 'no tongue' for 'no ropes'?"